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PUD says: We might kiss when we are alone, when nobody's watching. We might take it home, we might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared. It's just that it's delicate. ①CHAT BOX AT TAGBOARD ②COMMENT is WATCHA WANNA SAY ③Older post at AFFILIATES
11/12/09

2 Comments

Watcha wanna say

Friday, December 11, 2009, 1:17 AM
Crying is not the solution yet many people LOVES to tear including me.
The scenes still couldn't get off from my mind. Been there reminds me lot of things.
I can feel the pain from HIS emotion which is actually emotionless. So sad. I hope he can recover soon and get out from the 'hell'.
When i was touching you i was so helpless and sorry for not being there with you during your very hard moment. I was extremely sad over this. Tears dropping without any awareness and i couldn't even control it. I had to go downstairs and cried on my own. Yes i'm too weak. It reminds me of my grandma and DOLLY who are both very important VVVVVVVVVIP in my life. I couldn't imagine how bad the illness had tortured them. They were so BRAVE and they never told anyone about the pain. Dolly couldn't speak like human but i'm very sure that her soul still wanted to stay but her body didn't allow her to continue her life. I was so lonely when i recalled so much of the past. I blamed. Yes i did. I am not trying to symphatize you but i really feel bad about it.......

I want to be a very happy girl. I'm not trying to hypnopsis myself but i actually made myself busy delibrately just to avoid the negative thinking which always and all the time haunting me. I wanted to puke but i didn't and i had no appetite to eat at all today. Back to home at 11pm from work and started doing housework. At least it kept the bad thinking behind first. I know its very crazy to do housework midnight but wat to do. It's the only way to keep me alert. Finished cleaning toilet, washing+hanging+keeping clothes, tidying up the room, boiling water, washing empty tupperwares in 2 hours time! I'm trying so hard! Please grand me the strength please. Though i'm home alone but i know i can go through this by myself. I don't want to rely on you too much. I know i can...........................but can i?