So much of things happened today. Haha.

Let's do report here.

Title : Grief

First of all, I am upset but guilty. Don't tell me such thing to make me guilty. I pretended i didn't hear it because i didn't want to make the situation worse. I rather keep the breaking sound inside my heart. I didn't make it there doesn't mean i don't care and i am not worried. If so, i wouldn't have such nightmare because of being too anxious. Don't forget this. U know it is not so easy to take leave and there was mistaken information. U always been sorry for not accompanying me so often due to ur work. If so, i don't have to work? Not to forget that i don't posses a car which i can run where ever i want to. I can't do any decision when the car key is not mine. I m not home so often because i know u would not be able to give a visit to me and i HATE loneliness. But please do not misjudge me. I am not having fun while u are suffering there. I am sad and having heartache too. I do care u so much like ur family k. Don't compare. It's so hurt. I already felt so guilty and useless, y could u still make things worse.

Secondly, i am annoyed by ur friends. They are not little kids anymore but y can't they understand that they shouldn't make fun of ppl and after been so long time, they still manage to bring the issues up in their EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION. Facebook is so public where everybody can access. I tried my best to ignore and try to understand that they don't actually mean it but just as a joke. Don't they know it's very irritating? I know i can let it go and ignore and being generous, yeah, it's my fault for not accomplishing it. FAILURE! I know it's non of my business but it still makes me recall lot of things. Yes i will take this as a challenge and make myself FACE IT BRAVELY! Bring ur guts out from ur butt PUDPUD! Hypnotizing myself that " I DON'T MIND I DON'T MIND I DON'T MIND!"

Last but not least, I beh tahan myself. Y would justice means so much to me? I can't bear when my bestie get bullied and doesn't dare to say it out. Please la. Don't be a coward and voice urself out. I beh tahan myself for being so kepo and loving to be their mouth. Hey, ppl treats u that good doesn't mean u can take things as granted ok. Please watch out n mind urself. U, urself said so loudly in front of us that u don't need man's money and u don't need man to feed u and u don't need man to be survived. Alright. Then y r u using my bestie? Y don't u pay the correct amount to him and y don't u take ur own cigarette and y don't u drive ur own car to work? Don't take me as a bridge. I tried to pretend that i don't care but i really can't make it. Aihz. SEE! this is me and i hate myself being like this. In my opinion, i don't like to trouble ppl if i can do it myself unless i really hv no choice then i'll make my face foundation powder as thick as i could. Don't be lidat la. He's a good guy don't la use him like he is not worth of it. Please be nice to him if u treat him as a bestie. Prove it but not only by words. SHOW IT!

Summary: I don't know y my feelings is so confused at the same time. Sad day.