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心事重重

2011-04-09T23:41:00.002+08:00

我。。又失业了。
而且是在同一个地方第二次辞职。
可是感恩他们让我辞职。终于啊！！！！感谢感谢。哈哈哈。

道不同，不相为谋

不过人啊。总是在难过的时候希望有一个人陪伴。
那个人却在好远好远的地方。应该听不见我吧。。。
好想你。。。

可笑！

2010-11-05T22:36:00.002+08:00

原来，世界上真的有这种人的存在。
可是只要我清者自清，身边的人相信我就行了。

大家知道吗？原本以为来到这里可以好好得过，可是当我开始遇到这么不好的老板时，我才发现全世界都一样的。有心计的人自然而然会觉得别人会有心计。真可笑！他们是否有曾想过，他们说出的话就是在反映着他们最真实最丑陋的一面吗？

一，他们想挑拨离间。
二，他们使劲所有的力量想替我的朋友们洗脑把我当成坏人看。
三，他们死都不认自己有问题。

详情：
一，他们说我刻意想把supervisor逼走。真相呢？我们大家都干得很不开心，而且supervisor原本就因为他们而一早不想干了。我们都知道是他们心里有鬼，死到临头了想把所有的罪都怪在我头上。让我当个彻彻底底，天真的替死鬼。我却后知后觉，还要让朋友来告诉我，我才知道发生了什么事。哈哈。我真的太笨了，太单纯了！
二，他们跟我的朋友说，我会一一把她们给去处掉，所以在背后说这么多闲言闲语。hello!你们是老糊涂还是披着羊皮的老虎扮糊涂啊？现在整间店都在说你们的坏话ok!哈哈。我真的觉得你们很可悲耶。怪不得有人说你们做生意做了那么久还只是个小生意。没前途。哈哈。口口声声公司前公司后的，可是大家心里都清楚的很，你真的有这样的公司吗？开玩笑！
三，大家都很清楚问题出在你们俩身上，为什么想把一切有关没关的都赖在我头上？你知道问题是出自于你们吗？我只是那个导火线好吗？我敢担保！这样的事就算现在不发生，以后也会发生！

我真的非常庆幸，发生了这样的事以后，我的朋友们都会慰问我，跟我说不管我的事，还会替我说好话。听到这样的安慰，我真的放下了大大口的气。才知道，人真的可以很险恶。了解我的人都知道，他们能说出那样的话真的太ridiculous了！！my god!我怎么会那么倒霉啊？唉。。不过至少我从中得到大大的教训，是一个用钱也买不到的经验。呵呵。谢拉上天！给我一个蛮大的考验。嘻嘻。

美丽的画心

2010-08-22T02:03:00.003+08:00

突然的思念
只能往肚里吞

望着美丽的夜空
月色多漂亮
星星多迷人

千言万语难开口
心的空间似无底洞
地球的某一个空间
有一颗心
是否也同样的存在

一些回忆值得回忆
风儿吹一吹
沙子归大地
回忆归回忆

宇宙的轮回
时间的运转
兜兜转转
一首歌却勾起很多很多的回忆
美丽
是优美
是忧美
风儿吹一吹
脸上的微笑
也很美丽

看不穿是你失落的魂魄
猜不透是你瞳孔的颜色
一阵风一场梦爱如生命般莫测
你的心到底被什么困惑
你的轮廓在黑夜之中淹没
看桃花开出怎样的结果
看着你抱着我目光比月色寂寞
就让你在别人怀里快乐
爱着你像心跳难触摸
画着你画不出你的骨骼
记着你的脸色是我等你的执著
你是我一首唱不完的歌

一年了
相识一年了
似长似短
还是一句
回忆还是回忆
怀念还是怀念
优美还是忧美
嘴角上扬
微笑带过

Blank

2010-07-24T22:19:00.003+08:00

Yes i am tired
Standing out there, it's so freezing.

My mind is so blank
I don't understand why am i being on this stage
What are people doing
What are people thinking
This is amazing

I thought
I guess
Something's out there someone's behind
However,
I realized it's only part of my imagination

This room of myself
Where i keep myself in there
Never walk out from this circle

Sometimes, it seems to be large as a sea
Sometimes, it seems to be tiny as a dust

We are all alone on our life path

No question?

Most of the creatures in this life in this world
Life granted by god
Do we have the chance to master it?
Or
What ever we are doing our best
There's always guide
There's always ending

This moment
It's all blank out

All the while
we can only fill in the blank

Speaking is wonderful

Somehow
we only speak for the sake of ourselves
it might be brilliant to speak silently or soundless

No conclusion
No exact conclusion
None of us do

Let it be
Just to comfort
Let it be
Just make sentences

to have the last breath

On the Nature of Daylight - a ballet by David Dawson

2010-07-17T23:33:00.002+08:00

太多的感触，难以开口
简约
忧郁；动人；怀念
不想难过
音乐的旋律
舞动的忧美
却自拔不如

曾说过，
优美背后是丑陋
如今，
一一呈现在眼前
曾快乐，曾分离，曾悲伤
最后，
一个简单的吻
一个简单的手
一个动作
一个故事
已经足够

不需要明白我说什么
有些感情有些味道
只有自己身体每一寸的肌肉感觉得到
这就是为何上天制造我们

停止，离开
不是必然
不是偶然
只能
顺其自然

如果这就是爱情

2010-06-13T15:41:00.003+08:00

原来神明给的都是上上签
师傅恭喜我说这段婚姻可以是很美好的
只要把脾气改一改
这段路会好长远
可是我忘了告诉你，
他离开我了
你，叹一叹气
说道
如果你们还有缘分的话，这会是一个很好的将来
可是这一分这一刻
我么能做的只能听天由命

这是一件很伤感的事实
没有如果
没有如果
没有如果
可以说命中注定，可以说事在人为
我已经想不到
何谓对何谓错
我已经分不到
想念你的泪水

也许一路上，我不会再回头
可是
也许在我的心里
我会放慢脚步
等着你慢慢地走上来
也许未来有一天
你在我身边经过
牵起了我的双手
我不会逃避
因为我知道
在我心里，你早已重了一颗种子慢慢发萌
也许未来有一天
你在我身边经过
怀里多了一份爱
我不会哭泣
因为我知道
在我心里，我只能抱着遗憾祝福你

这一首歌，句句唱出我的心声

如果這就是愛情
作詞：阿弟仔
作曲：阿弟仔

你做了選擇對的錯的
我只能承認心是痛的
懷疑你捨得我被傷的那麼深
就放聲哭了何必再強忍
我沒有選擇我不再完整
原來最後的吻如此冰冷
你只能默認我要被割捨
眼看著你走了
如果這不是結局如果我還愛你
如果我願相信你就是唯一
如果你聽到這裡如果你依然放棄
那這就是愛情你難以抗拒
如果這就是愛情本來就不公平
你不需要講理我可以離去
如果我成全了你如果我能祝福你
那不是我看清是我證明我愛你

灰色的天空無法猜透
多餘的眼淚無法挽留
什麼都牽動感覺真的好脆弱
被呵護的人原來不是我

我不要你走我不想放手
卻又不能夠奢求同情的溫柔
你可以自由我願意承受
把昨天留給我

如果這不是結局如果我還愛你
如果我願相信你就是唯一
如果你聽到這裡如果你依然放棄
那這就是愛情我難以抗拒
如果這就是愛情本來就不公平
你不需要講理我可以離去
如果我成全了你如果我能祝福你
那不是我看清是我證明我愛你

如果這就是愛情本來就不公平
你不需要講理我可以離去
如果我成全了你如果我能祝福你
那不是我看清是我證明我愛你

完了

2010-06-05T15:54:00.002+08:00

我一定要把此刻的心情写下

出了院，以为可以好好的跟他谈一谈
我知道，其实他还爱我
从我妈妈想把我从他身边拉开的时候，
我感受得到他拥抱的力量
这令我还有一点点的希望

可是，
我不知道我为什么一直哭一直哭一直哭
醒了哭，哭了睡，睡醒再哭，哭完再睡
我真的真的真的很爱他
我真的很想让他走
他真的很辛苦
我也真的很辛苦
看见他在我朋友到来探病的时候，
他一个人站在厕所旁
我的心也很痛
可是我不能不演戏，
我知道如果那时候我选择站去他身边，
他所承受的压力会更大

我真的是很犯贱
当他说他没那么爱我的时候，
我好伤心好伤心
我骂他负心汉
说要变心就变心
事实上，是我造成的
是我！是我亲手毁掉我们的这段感情！
我知道他已经无能为力的爱我了
可是我又恨他为何不坚持
为什么我可以而你不行？

我。。
真的爱得太多了
逼压得他无法呼吸
双方都承受不了双方身边给与的压力
这个维美的爱情很艰难
当一方没力气再面对的时候
我是不是也是时候该放下
让你有个更好的生活

当你说你不爱我的时候，
我想，我是否更应该出国
好让我们有个时间
想清楚自己所要的东西
你们说我逃避也好
不肯面对事实也罢

因为我知道，
我们已经不在同一条路上了
我很努力的带着行李往前走，
而你却在原地犹豫不决

你要我不出国
我犹豫
为什么呢？
当你说你对我的感觉淡了，
要我不出国真的没有说服力
因为那份在我心中的安全感会增加
到时候我们会一样的痛苦
因为我不知道你是否还想拿起行李和我一起面对一路上的坎坷
也许我出国也是上天给我们的一个考验
也许你的真命天女并不是我

是我前世欠你的
我真的什么都没有了
我什么都输给了你
唯一的精神寄托也没了
我不知道我是否还有能力站起来
闭上眼睛，全都是你的画面
家里的每一个角落都有你的存在
连手上的胶布，桌上的杯面，地上的杂志，床上的枕头，柜里的衣服，颈上的项链，包里的钱包，电脑的银幕，厕所的牙刷，家里的角落，你清理过的房间，你买来的杀虫剂，你的毛巾，一首歌，这一条街，这一碗面，这个糖水。。
还有太多太多的回忆
每当听到车的到来，
会以为是你来了

心真的很痛
很痛
我真的舍不得
我怪你不再在这个轨上
我怪你自私
你嫌弃我了
我是你生活上的绊脚石
原来我真的不属于任何一个地方
这就是我的命运
从一开始至今，
我就注定是我想爱的人的绊脚石
你会怪我为何又要牵涉所有的一切
可是，事实就是如此
是我改变不了的
无论我多努力想改变我的命运，
可是我过分了也太多压力了。

不舍
又如何

Report

2010-05-21T02:18:00.003+08:00

So much of things happened today. Haha.

Let's do report here.

Title : Grief

First of all, I am upset but guilty. Don't tell me such thing to make me guilty. I pretended i didn't hear it because i didn't want to make the situation worse. I rather keep the breaking sound inside my heart. I didn't make it there doesn't mean i don't care and i am not worried. If so, i wouldn't have such nightmare because of being too anxious. Don't forget this. U know it is not so easy to take leave and there was mistaken information. U always been sorry for not accompanying me so often due to ur work. If so, i don't have to work? Not to forget that i don't posses a car which i can run where ever i want to. I can't do any decision when the car key is not mine. I m not home so often because i know u would not be able to give a visit to me and i HATE loneliness. But please do not misjudge me. I am not having fun while u are suffering there. I am sad and having heartache too. I do care u so much like ur family k. Don't compare. It's so hurt. I already felt so guilty and useless, y could u still make things worse.

Secondly, i am annoyed by ur friends. They are not little kids anymore but y can't they understand that they shouldn't make fun of ppl and after been so long time, they still manage to bring the issues up in their EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION. Facebook is so public where everybody can access. I tried my best to ignore and try to understand that they don't actually mean it but just as a joke. Don't they know it's very irritating? I know i can let it go and ignore and being generous, yeah, it's my fault for not accomplishing it. FAILURE! I know it's non of my business but it still makes me recall lot of things. Yes i will take this as a challenge and make myself FACE IT BRAVELY! Bring ur guts out from ur butt PUDPUD! Hypnotizing myself that " I DON'T MIND I DON'T MIND I DON'T MIND!"

Last but not least, I beh tahan myself. Y would justice means so much to me? I can't bear when my bestie get bullied and doesn't dare to say it out. Please la. Don't be a coward and voice urself out. I beh tahan myself for being so kepo and loving to be their mouth. Hey, ppl treats u that good doesn't mean u can take things as granted ok. Please watch out n mind urself. U, urself said so loudly in front of us that u don't need man's money and u don't need man to feed u and u don't need man to be survived. Alright. Then y r u using my bestie? Y don't u pay the correct amount to him and y don't u take ur own cigarette and y don't u drive ur own car to work? Don't take me as a bridge. I tried to pretend that i don't care but i really can't make it. Aihz. SEE! this is me and i hate myself being like this. In my opinion, i don't like to trouble ppl if i can do it myself unless i really hv no choice then i'll make my face foundation powder as thick as i could. Don't be lidat la. He's a good guy don't la use him like he is not worth of it. Please be nice to him if u treat him as a bestie. Prove it but not only by words. SHOW IT!

Summary: I don't know y my feelings is so confused at the same time. Sad day.

Sorry for being emo again

2010-05-05T04:27:00.004+08:00

Picture speaks
Song speaks
Word speaks

But do u speak?

I speak and i am glad that i am still alive on this "lovely" earth.
Can u distinguish ME to set happiness free in my body?
No one could help it unless urself.
I know I understand.

We should stand up and be responsible
Stop emo kan?
Yea.Perhaps, this is the first step i should have.
Then?
Being positive and keep myself moving.
And force myself to believe that there's always a dream can be fulfilled.
But greedy makes me suffocate.

I want to own a complete family, not perfect but loving each other.
I am not trying to complain that my mama doesn't love me or my passed away grandma didn't love me.
Deep in my heart, i know they love me more than anyone does. Indeed.
But i wish i can sleep soundly in my dad's arms. I never get a chance.
I don't deserve to meet them too. Never until the day of death, i guess.

I said "jealousy aint good. But how to resist it?"
There will be no exact answer upon.
I am jealous. At the same time, i am gratitude.
Do u sense something awkward now?
Yes, u r right. Sometimes, i feel like i am insane and i have few souls inside me.
Speechless for this second.

I want to own a good life, not so rich but at least i won't be worrying.
My responsibility in money,
Insurance, House, Car, Life expenses, Mum's medical expenses.
How am i going to get those BIG AMOUNT in the future if i really take arts as my major?
I don't believe that it would give me a better life at least, secured?
BUT THAT'S MY DREAM!

SO WHAT? i am mad!
Soundless voice saying ARE U NUTS? U R SHIT BLOODY SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED GIRL!
Wake up and look at urself, Are u so good in dancing? ARE U?
Can u afford to live when u r getting old and more wrinkles and ur bone cracks so easily?!
Go the hell and get some other degree which can FEED U and UR MUM!
yeah~ that's surrounding me all the time~

I am crying. Telling out.
I know i know. I don't have the ability. I can't see the talent. I can't find it.
I am lost hereby, in the halfway of seeking it.
But..that's my dream. Shouldn't we do something good once in our whole life?
Is that good u supposed? FUCK OFF.
U can't even make a promise to urself that u r going to give ur mama a good life.
USELESS DUMB
who else do u have in this world?
Even though i know, they exist in one of the corner. SO?
U all dumped me! Since that i don't belong to there anymore!
It was a hard decision? I supposed it was.
That's y I am crying so hard.
I hate u all but i still miss u all.
No picture No memory but when i was inside ur stomach for that 9 months, I FEEL.

After all, i found out suicidal was not the solution, it didn't work out.
Coward? Nah. Useless i can say.
It is a tough task more than i expected.
Face it with the fucking guts!
Do i have it? Do I?
No
NO no NONOnono NO nO No NOnononNONOnNONononononoNONONONonOnoNO

2010-04-17T15:12:00.003+08:00

Suicidal is beautiful
It needs more courage than u could imagine.
Full stop.

I have forgotten you are not committed to me Sorry
Am useless and troublesome
I create the tiredness and exhaustion and fatigue

I no longer understand my existence in this world
Wat can i distribute others from hatreds and troubles

How i wish i could be free

I'll fulfill my promise to finish the work tonite =)
At least i can go with a word to describe me-responsible

Waiting for hands

2010-04-15T14:06:00.004+08:00

I know there's a worm inside me.
It is not good but i can't get rid of it.

No one has even realized i am already lost in that room.
No one knows I am shouting for help.
Guess i am getting better in pretending and acting?
During these 40 days, i am too anxious and worried. I am too skeptical.
I can't get rid of her picture from my mind.
The pictures and the past keep on running and running and they never stop.
I do mind a lot how people would judge me behind. Especially them.
I know they have no good comments on me and that really scares me.
Frighten and doubting is the only description to talk about me.
Crying is the only thing I am able to do.

At last, i stepped out.
I should have done this long time ago but i was too selfish coz i couldn't bare losing the loved one.
Letting it flies is the best choice amongst all.
We had been trying to hide that bomb but undeniably, its existence is too obvious that we can't actually pretend it is invisible.
No one knows how to comfort me coz it is too hard.
This case is special. Haha.
I hold my tears tightly until now i have no more energy to hand in there already.
We can't see the heart pain
It is uncountable

Memories are beautiful

A sudden

2010-04-06T15:23:00.002+08:00

Wow.
Something new running in my head now but too bad i don't have god time to expose it here.LOL..

To be Continued.......

又下雨了

2010-03-26T03:57:00.003+08:00

有时候我会想是否我过分了是否是时候原谅是时候放下.
可是你暗示的话只会钩起那过去.
内容我还保留着,每看一次心再痛一次泪再留一次。
为了你们，我好怨自己没把事情处理好，导致原本开开心心的大家都受伤。
看到你站在中间，我的心不难过吗？
这种自责的心情，你们又是否知道？

你，其实毁了想原谅的心.
让我觉得不该再心软,停止我还想关心的态度.
最讨厌自己犯践,讨厌每次把别人的错最后都当成自己的错。

如果我崩溃的时候还能替伤害我的人着想那我只是回到以往的我..
什么事情都自己受，什么埋怨都自己啃，总觉得别人有自己的原因而我应该替别人承担。
那你跟外人有什么分别？
对！每个人做每个决定当然有自己背后的原因，自己的立场。
只在于你做的事情是否能很完美的不伤害任何人。
我承认我曾经说的话是多难听，我的脑子里只有报复，只想着你们对我的不公平。
那你是否有想过你也曾经说过多么伤害的话。
再加上后来的种种事情。
难道你没责任体谅我的心态吗？
应该做的不是先删除我报复的想法吗？

看到那段字我决定不再提任何东西好让大家好过.
觉得大家该得到的报应已经足够了。
可是到头来,无意间和你谈到，才发现原来你好像根本没反省过，没搞清楚事情的起因.
最讨厌会再次的流泪。。。

走回同一条路一点都不简单,是需要多大的勇气.
放下自尊，放下面子，硬着头皮再掉头挽留，是多么的艰难。
惟有的理由是因为爱。
你的好我是有看到可是你的不好我也看到.
你的好我当然非常珍惜，非常庆幸。
你的不好我会尽量包容，尽量体谅。
只是我不晓得我们还能把事情做到很圆满，是否不会再互相伤害。
因为，伤害了就是伤害了。
无论再怎么禰补，那道疤还存在，只在于你是否愿意接受它的存在。。

自我反省

2010-03-16T15:16:00.004+08:00

近来发生了好多好多的事情。一个月可说短不短，说长不长。受伤了，哭累了，责备了，到最后，原来我想保护大家的冲动却造成现在被咒骂的状况。呵呵。不过也无所谓了。坦白说，当我看见他们在骂时，我心里的确有愤怒有难过，不明白为什么这个世界的人做错了却还不清醒反而那么野蛮，不过现在我已经不想多说什么。因为人生就是起伏不定，这一切都是必定会体验到的。我只可以说，我会从中学习，学习如何冷静，学习如何放下，学习如何看得开，学习如何不执着，最重要的学习如何接受。很多事情并不是在我们的掌控之下。所以，你们爱骂什么就骂吧。哈哈。反正现在到我在看猴子戏。=P 朋友教的。之前我自己做错了，我不应该也大庭广众的骂他，不能以为这样就可以打抱不平。因为人类始终是爱面子的动物。从这里，我学习到如何去享受那种抓狂的感觉再到如何平静下来的经过。事情的发生，必定有它的原因。我本人很相信人生的循环人生的因果。我做错了，所以现在是我的报应。呵呵。不过没关系，因为我又学到了怎样能更成熟一点。=)

下马六甲的那一天，心情是不好的。可是经过了这么充实的三天，心情也舒缓了很多很多。可能你会说，我是不是在逃避啊。我回答你，不是，只是我用另一个心态去面对了。有时候，一些牺牲和挫折会让我们更加的成长更加的懂事。第一次与汉风参与比赛，才发现原来大家都非常认真地在比赛。从来没体验过想得奖的野心，甚至进决赛的想法，统统在这一次感受到了。虽然这次抱着平常心，若无其事，顺其自然的心态来到马六甲，可是却从中学习了很多很多很多！不止是在自己身上学到的，也在舞蹈员身上学到了不少，好的不好的，我觉得都该从中吸取教训提升自己。看到了很多不同的舞蹈，体会到背后的故事，编导们的想法，每个人每个人都有自己的特色，真的很不同很精彩。就算自己的舞蹈别人会不喜欢，可是那又如何？肖老师说得对，就算没得奖，那又如何，就算没有人喜欢，那又如何？不应该把自己的宝贝给丢了，唯独不断的更改进步。所以我觉得，老师的坚持是对的！这一次让我更加觉得舞台就是人生啊。一支舞蹈后面的编导才是最重要，成熟性，理智加上艺术的感观，故事及勇气，都是一定必备的。这不是一般人都可以做得到。编导该如何诠释自己的作品，该如何与舞蹈员沟通，如何表达，这一切都是一门学问。群舞与独舞不一样的地方就是舞蹈员之间必须要有良好的沟通，明白舞蹈的意义与故事，需要有一样的感觉，对舞蹈的了解。体验到凝聚力真的很重要！独舞则必须当独场面，无论如何一个人一定得想办法独自把舞蹈的感觉带出来。可是不同的是，人与人之间的沟通其实也是另一种学问。群舞中，必须抱着７分陶醉３分醒的状态，那并不容易。该如何去调整自己的心情心态。该如何容纳进舞蹈该有的情绪，同时兼顾整支舞蹈的感觉，舞蹈的整齐，这是我们大家还该学习的地方。自我投入的同时并得兼顾他人迁就他人也是很难的。还有舞蹈员的情绪及稳重度还得多多学习学习。需要多多检讨。纪律及专业也是一门学问。哈哈。包括我自己，我自己的EQ不够强。容易被别人影响，自己的脚镇不够好。呵呵。

其实做人也一样，要如何纪律，如何专业的当一个人，做好自己。自我的同时不能忘了顾虑身边的人的感受。最近的情绪太强烈太偏激了。哈哈。却忽略了如何享受这个生命的优美宇宙的平息。好希望我能无时无刻的提醒自己这份安宁。不要假装听不到，而是真的听不到环境的吵杂声。这么得出神入化，我还真的没资格哈哈。我，会学习！人就应该不断的自我反省，我自认我的情绪掌控非常不好，而且我看不开，很喜欢把事情分得清清楚楚会有很多的埋怨，为什么世界是那么的不公平。其实，世界就是那么地不公平。正义对我来说是非常重要。如果你伤害一个无辜的人我会很生气恨不得把你杀了。可是我们并不能强求事事都如我们所愿。人家要伤害你是不难的事也是你预料不到的事。唯有问心无愧，何必在意那么多。我会时常提醒自己这一点好让自己不会忘记！要学会如何调整人类的七情六欲，那还真不简单。不能单靠长辈的教导，而是以自己的思想自己的成熟度。他佈了一个局，关键是你自己是否想把一只脚放进去？我认我做错了。是我自己扑进那一个陷阱。

玩了一个心里测验，得到的答案是非常的准。
[童年時你受到非常大的傷害，可能是肢體上或言語上、情緒上的暴力。這些訊息會讓你覺得自己是個不被疼愛的人。如果那個童年經驗沒有被處理好，長大後不管你面對工作夥伴、情人還是所在環境，你的不安全感都會非常強烈，於是你的心靈黑洞就會非常沉重。雖然在外人面前你表現出很開心的樣子，可是當你面對自己的時候，你感受到的是非常孤單跟寂寞。建議你回想一下，童年時期你最渴望別人重視你的部分是什麼？把那一塊找回來，長大之後跟對方講清楚說明白，這是重新再回溯中很重要的過程]
我是说啦。可是不是每个男人都可以达到你的要求。重新找回过程。呵呵会是我唯有的反应。唉。我只能抱着自己独立，不要依赖别人的心态成长。就算那么幸运重新找回那感觉，那又如何？难道信任会长久吗？难道感情能长久吗？顺其自然吧。

身边的人都问，为什么你那么喜欢跳舞？为什么那么坚持？我可以告诉你，我不坚持。很多时候，我都差点放弃它。这次的出赛我真的看到很多！不单单是别人的舞台经验编导的执著，我看到的是人生。真的。舞蹈就是修养。修养如何做一个更高深的人类。如何找到平静。如何生存。如何去体会人生的律动。如何与人沟通生活下去。我很庆幸我遇见舞蹈，好让我可以成长多一些。也庆幸让我学会把视野看得开阔些。修修，开始要成长咯。不要老是停在这个站！=)加油！

我去死！

2010-03-09T06:55:00.009+08:00

真心换来伤害…千错万错都是我的错…为了你们的快乐我离开他…为了成全你们我割舍！我犯践！一切的忍受，原来都被当垃圾被误解而一次又一次的被伤害。事事有轮回。不需要说让自己安心让自己过得去的话。心割了一刀始终有道疤。你应该很清楚被出卖的心痛想不到你把尝试过的经验用在我身上。一句对不起是否可以当着你什么都没做过？已经没有人相信自己没有人明白自己。活了那么多年，原来这是一场戏。第三次的出卖。我该有什么反应？这世上是否还有友情？我可以相信谁？谢谢我的宝贝给我的鼓励，可是我真的没信心了。一次又一次的诬赖，我只可以默默的接受？舞蹈老师一样，男朋友一样，连朋友也一样！！你们有什么资格这样伤害我？？有什么资格诬赖我？？我真的好难过好难过。不会形容这个痛。。

伤害了就是伤害了，不需要扮伟大。一个六十岁的人，伤害了我却还要强词夺理，不羞耻吗？？一个受过背叛的人，到头来还是一样的背叛别人，还可以为自己说伟大的话，我才不信。原来伤害一个人那么简单，那我也要。

真的真得越来越想不开。。如果死可以解决一切那该多好。当我想起那虚伪的面孔，那自私的真相，我真的很不甘愿。我不需要被人糟踏！因为他的疏忽，变成所有的东西都是我的错！是谁没看背后的故事？是谁没给与机会？为什么你们个个都是酱野蛮？当我在忍受体谅原谅付出，有谁知道？？有谁心疼？

晚晚与泪入眠！我很幸福可以得到爱？那你现在就是在剥夺我的幸福了不是吗？不是吗？请别再在我面前扮伟大扮大方，扮得你懂得所有，事实你什么都不懂。因为你只是盲目地看到一方面！好自私！怎么这个社会可以这么自私？？？

原来。原来你一直在怂恿他跟我分手。好狠！

那一个字眼是我在咒他？我有叫他去死吗？现在什么东西啊！我还特地去读我的部落格，想要反省自己是否有'咒‘的内容。抱歉！我找不到！我真的很不甘愿！！！！！！！！！啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

什么背后的故事？我背后的故事你懂吗？你有问过我是否我有给过机会吗？你有问过他，他的用词也是多过分吗？你对我不仁，我就对你不仪！当我在默默的体谅，有谁知道？当我在忍受我需要告诉你吗？如果不是到了尽头，我才不会发疯！是你不了解我。那就算了！可是你没资格批评我？没资格剥夺我们的幸福！！

就算我和他分手了，你们是否很快乐？？妈的！我又再一次为别人牺牲？？为什么每次都是我！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！你们不能让我一次吗？天！你不能让我一次吗？？？

对得起人，拜的下身。什么丑人你来当？希望许久后，你回想时候，你看得更多的时候，你体会更多的时候，你不会心虚。一事算一事，你父母亲的难过，为什么都是我的错？你有了解整件事的过程吗？你大哥二哥是一回事！为什么偏偏要扯我进来？好像把所有的气都出在我身上？为什么我需要牺牲？这样公平吗？你父亲等他，那是他的错，他没交代，我跟他说过几百遍了！你做事你需要解释需要告诉他们你为何这么做还是那样做。他说要时间！我给！这个不是机会那是什么？？？？？？？？我就快发疯了！等了几个月！什么都没做好！到头来，被责怪的是我？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？请你别那么小心眼，一味在责怪我可以吗？虽然我对你来讲是外人，你也不可以这样剥夺你哥的幸福吧？你是否知道那对他是无形中的压力？那你又是否体谅他的感受？？？你只是想到你自己你父母，对！你没错！那你哥呢？那我呢？

是谁有在关心你？是谁帮你找课程？是谁看见你的twitter在担心你？我做的这些原来都是垃圾！垃圾！你不介意牺牲我不介意伤害我！我一厢情愿要当你的真心朋友！我真的太犯贱！太天真！我希望你看到我所写的会有少许的内疚，毕竟我没有功我都有劳。背后被插一刀的感觉，你比任何人清楚。不用对朋友说我的坏话。那只会显出自己的自私。有本事一五一十地说出来！

你还小，看东西很窄。我从来没责怪你保护家人，那是应该的！可是怎样说都好，难道我不是人？我不是你的朋友？原来我一直都在一厢情愿。你应该向大人请教，在这个时候，你更应该做的是什么。你应该做的是安慰安抚你双亲而不是自私的恨不得我们分手。你可以请教gilvie或是其他前辈。当他伤害我妈妈。不尊敬我妈妈。我是否又有告诉你？不要欺负我们可以吗？我们私底还有多少的过程你没曾了解过。就这样的怪我？你不信你可以问他！我是否有给机会？？？有原谅？有体谅？有接受？？？？我还得在做工的时候强颜欢笑，逼自己忘记你信息的内容。我恨不得从那七楼跳下去。这样被误解，这样被出气，我真的是受不了了！平时在默默忍受，并不代表我什么都没做过！想想你的内容，真的好自私。说得好懂我的立场。呵。我好可悲啊。

当然，我有想过把他让给你们，可是这个星期里，我是多么
的矛盾挣扎痛苦大叫，有谁了解我的痛？我没有他我活不下
去知道吗？我爱得太深了。我分手的理由之一也是因为你们。可是你又是否有想过我分手的理由?只是看到我发泄的字句就判断我的好坏！?pls.可以在用心去看待吗？

如果真的我离开对大家都好，大家都开心！那我去死吧！明明是他的疏忽，为什么却变成我的错？？？？？？？？？

MEN.HELPLESS

2010-03-02T06:59:00.002+08:00

I tweet crazily coz if i don't split this out i'd be crazy n insane.

whenever i recall wat he shouted at me i feel so damn sad. How could u blame me?
If i am so independent n dun need any help or support y should i said yes to be with u at the beginning?u asked me to be lying on u.u rmb?

I was curious at first whether u can really do tat coz its nt easy to deal with ppl like me who is lack of love and family. I don't hv any.

U insisted me to trust u and i did. at the end of the day?i am crying alone here terribly..
If u dun hv the ability to support me please dun wear such big hat aite? u din really understand n so u din help me sincerely.

U were forcing urself to do everything for me cz u r theoretically a bf of mine. When it came to halfway,u felt breathless n u started to blame me..of gosh...is it my mistake to say yes at the vry first step?i should jz shut my mouth n treat u as i treat d others.

I should say thank you its ok. i can stand on my own feet and i dun hv to rely on anyone.
U were the one who offered to help n nw u blaming me! I am really upset n sad.

Do i deserve all these things? DO I?

I should stick to my own perspective all the time.Y did i forgot it n choose to trust him？ since when i m so weak n need supports from guyS?

Since young im mother im father n im daughter. I knw ntg abt this world bt at least i did my best to understand this cruel world on my own.

Don't i deserve someone who really cares me n willing to do everything for me without any complaints? i jz need someone who really love me.

Love me nt only in terms of using ur mouth to say it but PROVE IT!

Guys are terrible!!!!! Same to my dad!! That's y i dun hv a dad!

I don't hv daddy care neither support. I nv hv the chance to be loved by a dad. GUYS R TERRIBLE!!!

Maybe i expected to much.Maybe guys r selfish n nv able to give out love n care generously. Nt at all.

I don't even hv a chance to c my dad.I dunno how he looks alike.Same case,since u nt able to support a family n love my mum,y u get married?

不要害人害己。我永远也不会原谅你！我永远不会承认你。你们俩向对方道谢吧。一样是男人出现在不同时间。可是却互相影响到我对男人的看法。

Starting from this moment, i must be contented. I must appreciate d love given by mum n my besties. I must be stronger n live on my own.

I'd trust myself only n rely on myself.I'd cry on my own shoulder n tears at nite.I'd be vry happy tat i can stay alive to feel this world.

What a post YUCK

2010-02-08T01:55:00.002+08:00

Trying to make my blog alive but i found out that it is so difficult to make me back to my blog unless its a very serious or terrible or vegetable incident or matter. So bad..

However.....LOL...

This is still not a good post...Tee hee..(Sorry..>< i don't mean it)
FML....i don't think i can be a good Juliet tho..
Can i just dance for myself and not to show to the audiences? Please....... =(

It's so stressful...and somehow i just enjoy the process of the training and also the rehearsals with my partners and dance mates...
Its so happening and FUN the only word i can describe...haha.

Does it really work on me? As if my dream to be a dancer can be realized in the future?Her dad is right...

"You can't rely on your dream or else you will just die due to hunger."

But what to do.. I am still young i supposed so i think i should just give myself a chance.....
Eff betul.....
But i really do love DANCING....

Disappointed with MEN!

2010-01-30T10:31:00.004+08:00

Hang out with a bunch of emo friends last night actually woke me up and i feel like i wanna slap myself gao gao so that i wouldn't be so stupid anymore. Well, love doesn't mean anything. I have no idea why would i believe that this guy is so much different and mature and he is the man i should stay with. Perhaps i am too over into it which leads us both to a hard situation where both of us are so oppressed and indeed killing each other by telling the hard words. I couldn't act that I am fine after every single argument. I just can't get rid of the past out from my mind. Every single seconds of my breath, I am just too worried with our future. Are u really the one who i should rely on and depend on? Well, everything was so FINE IN THE BEGINNING! and soon it turned out to be so awful where the bad things shown up.

Transportation! It might be a very simple word to you, you and you but NOT TO ME! Some people are too blessed with a very good family background who can actually bring you to where ever you hope to go or your parents would just get you a car. I know i shouldn't compare everything with the rest of the human organism in the world or else i am just fooling myself. I am born to be strong and learn from my life right. I know I know. But i just feel that it's so unfair! At first, it went so fine that you actually offered to fetch me here and there but see with ur eyes now!! What have u done and what have u told me? Although u nodded your head and said yes with the response on ur face, i can see through ur eyes how unwilling u do like i am forcing you with a gun on your head. I didn't sleep for the whole night. I am recalling everything, good things and sacrifices that u have done which i appreciate so muchie! Whenever the good things happened, i'd think that wow finally i have met some one who i can really trust on but eff, no one will be perfectly kind to you in a relationship. You wanted me to change my mind to this world and try to trust on u. I did and what's the result? I always tell you that i never want to be begging people for help who would never give me a damn. You are actually doing the same thing in another way though u didn't show it obviously. I am getting mad and mad and MAD whenever i recall what you had told me before this relationship started on. If you fetch me just for the sake of my request, then better DON'T! What i wish is your CARING as in YOU WOULD BE WORRIED me taking public transportation to everywhere especially NIGHT. I didn't ask for more! Just only when i work to late night right? Don't ever ask me not to work to late nite as i really need the money to go aussie! Did i ever ask you to fetch me to sri rampai on tues and wed noon??????????? Did I? NO! just because i know you'd be working. And if it's not an urgent case, I wouldn't want to trouble your sis to wake u up alright. Never the less, I have my mom only though she is not a good mother who i always complain on my blog but what to do, we were meant to live together. So i still heart her like u heart your family. Why should i give face while u DON'T!? I am trying so hard to talk to ur mom and please her wanting her to accept me yet u wouldn't give me a damn for offering her out to have lunch with us but u asked one of our friend and left my mom alone at home at the same time? This is not how you show ur respect to her right? Though u kindly talk to her but dang! This already spoilt everything u have done before! How embarrassing it was! Reason u gave me was so lame which is u made a promise the day before. SO, Can i do the same to your family?????? NO RIGHT? Oh gosh i am SO PISSED! I feel like i am so so so so "FAN JIN"! Someone cool me down please.

Last but not least, I am back to my very origin perspective. Men are liar! Everything would be perfect in the beginning but soon he would not want to give u a damn just like my friend's boyfriend. And i don't want to be in the same case after 5 years. Effing DISAPPOINTED with MEN! WOMEN SHOULD BE INDEPENDENT AND STAND ON THEIR OWN FEET! Don't get a boyfriend in the very first place or else once u step into it, you would hardly leave the game, just like me. I should slap myself!!! INDEED I NEED A MAN WHO IS MATURE THAN ME AND SUPPORTIVE!!

sick journey

2010-01-29T18:24:00.003+08:00

Very good news..I had high fever with 38.9 Celsius again. What a mess!
Sick twice within a month? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with my life?
I didn't do anything wrong so please don't torture me.
I take good care of myself i had enough water and i don't eat fried things.

Somehow..... I am recovered so what?
I rather stay sick than being waken up from sweet dream.
It would be so touched with someone stay beside when u are sick.
But that is a dream last night right?
I don't want to wake up!
It's so nice if i can stay in the dream for my whole life......

I am so frustrated and sad..

EFFFFF...Sad post AGAIN?

2010-01-26T02:22:00.002+08:00

Out of sudden, i have so much to tell.
Out of sudden, i realize that internet means so much to me.
Out of sudden, i find out that i am so in blue in this late night yet i am exhausted.

I have rushed for 2 jobs in a day. Today is the 4th month but it is not a good start for 5th. Temper lost and it scared me and worried me at the same time which proceed to a further and deeper thought after. I am so sensitive so what? Either u hate me or u accept me. Of course I do know that my sensitivity is sometimes a bit over but that proves that i care. Don't ever throw ur temper on me which i don't think that i deserve it. I didn't dare to say this out but i actually had my own difficulties as i need to take care of so much of matters at the same time with the lowest risk. It was a real big challenge to me but obviously i failed in this complicated mission. I couldn't cope things when it comes to plural which involves so many participation. I was forced to face 4 party and at the end, i had to sacrifice my happy moment and what i got at the end was a so 'PLEASE' present. What i wish was so simple, I don't want to trouble any of them. Sometimes people just don't understand we need to sacrifice before we proceed to success. That's how the life runs. Unless u never want to walk to the end of our life together. I was mad because i knew that wouldn't ease the situation and also the tension atmosphere. Somehow i feel happy that at least i can have the chance to enable myself being on both site. To think in different perspective. Why don't i understand it is not ur fault and neither mine. I didn't want it to happen but please don't simply throw ur tantrum on me even if u don't speak it out but i can feel the anger inside u. However, it's very sarcastic if i say this is a very good chance for me to learn how to deal with the pressure from so much of participation within one second. Maybe i need a GOD to be my guide to be with me.

Afterall, I am always confused. You can make me crazily in love with you but also knock on me right after that! I was seriously touched with what it had happened on Sunday and it was such a big sacrifice to u which i sincerely appreciate that. This is what people always say that You make me fly and You throw me down which i feel so oppressed and breathless.

I don't like telling people as they couldn't really understand the situation so i prefer telling myself through blogging.
Thanks my dearie blog.

Again, This is a sad post.

Happy mood in the late night

2010-01-05T02:49:00.004+08:00

Tee hee i am back with happy mood now!!thanks to my dearest hua hua ge..hoho..
Had a great supper which is nestum!yummy delicious and with not-so-delicious chicken wings but who cares. I just wanted to chew haha. Hmm. No idea why i was so not in the mood the whole day. The house is so dirty yet i was so lazy to move my butt to do the housework. SHIT! at least my reason saved me out from those dusty nuts rooms. I told myself to rest after a HEAVY FEVER yeah right! Tee hee..forgive me please.. >___< i am wrong...wuu wuu~

And.... maybe i was missing some one i guess. Wanted to ask him out but nah...i needa learn how to control myself and behave myself..hehe..and u know wat ! I managed to spend my day without him!! wooOHOo!! o by the way, just now the fellow that i dun really like hor. asked me when am i going to break up. SWT gao gao................ so cheap to curse ppl okie! really dun like him acting like a big disgusting pig's asshole! XP hmmp.. go eat shit better! haha..

Last but not least, i am happy now......TEE HEE.. =) smile with me!

Upload some pictures taken at lake garden. It was a great experience which i want to try again if i ever have another chance! Hehe. Credits to SABRINA and KYRA and SHAWN who helped a lot! Big claps for the great photographers! They are my girls!! MUACKS <3

My unprofessional make over ='(

So nerdy right?

Tee hee trying to do the seducing pose but FAILED T__T

At least i showed i am emo.kan?=P

Hahaha..i LMAO when i saw this!

雨天的红气球的心声

2010-01-04T03:40:00.002+08:00

好久好久的夜晚
一点一滴的雨点
就像影片不停播放

嘀嗒嘀嗒

呼唤心中一些被遗忘的回忆
影片在红气球里不停徘徊
没有观众没有鼓掌声
它依然不停播放

我的嘴轻轻上扬
是微笑还是无奈
人生
就是儿戏

YOU are my ANGEL

2010-01-03T03:38:00.002+08:00

once upon a time，
an angel in the sky，
made comfort every night，

once upon a time，
the angel loved me so，
its a miracle in the snow, my heart wont be cold

my dear,you are my angel，
tell me what you know，
something should be told

my dear,you are my angel ，
tell me where you go，
I will brace behind your throne.

once upon a time，
my angel gave me live.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_YKSSXYU08
please enjoy the melody =)

**Thanks SANTA for giving me such a beautiful present. It is very meaningful and lovely and thoughtful. I know i am late but thanks for everything and sorry at the same time. I wish i can be stronger and more mature to protect you. This song reminds me alot of things and alot of past. Haha XOXO

With loves

11/12/09

2009-12-11T01:17:00.002+08:00

Crying is not the solution yet many people LOVES to tear including me.
The scenes still couldn't get off from my mind. Been there reminds me lot of things.
I can feel the pain from HIS emotion which is actually emotionless. So sad. I hope he can recover soon and get out from the 'hell'.
When i was touching you i was so helpless and sorry for not being there with you during your very hard moment. I was extremely sad over this. Tears dropping without any awareness and i couldn't even control it. I had to go downstairs and cried on my own. Yes i'm too weak. It reminds me of my grandma and DOLLY who are both very important VVVVVVVVVIP in my life. I couldn't imagine how bad the illness had tortured them. They were so BRAVE and they never told anyone about the pain. Dolly couldn't speak like human but i'm very sure that her soul still wanted to stay but her body didn't allow her to continue her life. I was so lonely when i recalled so much of the past. I blamed. Yes i did. I am not trying to symphatize you but i really feel bad about it.......

I want to be a very happy girl. I'm not trying to hypnopsis myself but i actually made myself busy delibrately just to avoid the negative thinking which always and all the time haunting me. I wanted to puke but i didn't and i had no appetite to eat at all today. Back to home at 11pm from work and started doing housework. At least it kept the bad thinking behind first. I know its very crazy to do housework midnight but wat to do. It's the only way to keep me alert. Finished cleaning toilet, washing+hanging+keeping clothes, tidying up the room, boiling water, washing empty tupperwares in 2 hours time! I'm trying so hard! Please grand me the strength please. Though i'm home alone but i know i can go through this by myself. I don't want to rely on you too much. I know i can...........................but can i?

First day of DECEMBER 2009

2009-12-02T03:18:00.004+08:00

Some sweeties first *LOVES*

The pretties <3

Sekcheng's BACK from PERTH

Hoong who's growing =P

OCS the sweet yet horrible HOHOHO monster!

Last taken in toilet

The very first day of december, i had been spending my time with the sweeties for 12hours. It was a very random final decision to sing k after few of us complaint getting bored at home. I am so glad i did spend my time with them. We shared lotsa SECRET and hahas it was my idea *wink*. Was really relaxing and i love chilling with the right person. Though i dislike 3 gu 6 po but we were for only today. >p en en

We stayed in Station 1 for almost 5 hours and together we figured out our own problems. We shared and we learnt. I love listening to people as i know i must not repeat the same thing onto myself from him/her experience. Happiness will never last long to me. Guess it happens on whoever think they are bad luck-er especially PESSIMIST and I ADMIT I AM ONE OF THEM so sorry. Heard some bad news and i am so sorry i don't know the truth of it eventhough imma actually the source of it?? Feel so guilty cause imma SUCKER AND FUCKER AND BLOODY HELL DEVIL! Yes, i hurt another ONE today =) good right hahas. BUT...i chose not to be so pessimistic! I don't want to miss my fun today. I don't want to spoil my good mood today though something disappoint me somehow. Im not short listed to work in PC fair WTF. FINE.. i should have known it. sienz but so? wat-so-eva..

Last but not least, i want to be happy everyday for the sake of my loved onesss and also whoever cares me. I must appreciate the days i own, the people around, the moments i can enjoy as long as im breathing still. I make this promise to myself.

So, delicated to you mr t, no matter u read this or not, or the ANONYMOUS will tell you for sure, PLEASE BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. At least for the sake of your mum? or your friends? or ME? I was so guilty at first but i must tell myself that i am so wrong. I am a super duper freaking PESSIMIST but i want to try to be an OPTIMIST as we don't have much time to enjoy our life. We only have one single life not plural. Same to you! Sometimes, we have to let things go to keep ourselves moving forward no matter how hard it is! I know its not easy to do it and i might not understand your situation but please don't torture yourself. It's hurting....With loves from pud

Appreciate and optimistic

2009-12-01T01:00:00.004+08:00

STOP BLAMING
and kick my ass out from the current stage
its wasteful if i am so pessimistic everyday
ENJOY MY LIFE!
=)
no one will care about your feelings anyway so don't keep yourself in the room
explore more babes *wink*

男人与女人

2009-11-30T04:33:00.003+08:00

原来一句话的威力是多么的强大
原来一句话可以把我弄得那么委屈
如果一个女儿的出现是多余的，是所谓泼出去的水，
那婆婆对我的养育之恩不就是白费的？
干吗要对我严格管教？

就因世间上的人类都一样
就因我的家庭没有男人而遭来别人的欺负
可能你会认为我太多怨言太多抱负太多的不公平
我告诉你，
现实就是这样
社会就是这样
我不会忘记我比一般幸福的小孩更快接触它

女儿的责任不是长大，结婚，生孩子而已
因为我们不是猪
女人是该被疼爱的
这句话是由蛇的爱人所说的
对！世界本来就是应该公平
可是这所谓的公平已被肮脏的社会捣乱了正确的思绪

当女人太强时，男人会投诉你太抢眼
当女人太笨时，男人会投诉你太丢脸
所以我说，YOU NEVER PLEASE A MAN
如果一个男人没能力保护女人，
那你是完全没资格评论一个女人的价值
因为我们都一样是上天的无价之宝！

2月心得

2009-11-26T01:23:00.003+08:00

谢谢风的陪伴
让我的空气多了份精彩
偶尔柔柔的
偶尔强烈的
风的气味
缠留在我的指尖
好甜美
是缘分把风带入这个地球
让云有个伴
让花花草草不再寂寞
当风吹过树叶，遥遥当当的响起，
只有大树的心听见
那是美妙还是哭泣
只有大树的心听见
眼泪流到树根，
让树根吸取足够的水分成长
大树向着天空说
谢谢你把风送给我
好希望它会永永久久的待留
可是
风的流动
却不能时时刻刻的守护着
不是吗？
呵

You hurt me again

2009-11-20T20:16:00.000+08:00

He created the world
Justice and fair enough
Here we share the air
Here we breath in the same quality of air
We are gifted with different fate
Unfair i might describe the life but it is not the an absolute definition as we are not allowed to make any comparison
We people are born with love
Unfortunately the love given to me is lesser than least?
Im pessimist because of you
Im an extremist because of you also
I feel unsecured because of you
Do you know i love you but at the same time you are such a big burden to me?
I hate your selfishness and i hate your cruel mouth
I HATE YOU WHEN YOU CURSED ME!
BIATCH!
I lost my true love when i was 12, my beloved grandma left me alone with this empty world
I don't know anything about this world
I lost my true love again when i am 20, my beloved DOLLY who always be my side listening to my crap and hahas i know she didn't even know what were i talking about all the time but who cares!I loved to cry in front of her I loved to make complaints in front of her I loved to hug her!
The wind blew them away from my life
I went for a walk alone just now
The cool air reminds me of them
I miss them badly so

I care about you mummy but u always hurt me like no others business
It's very hurt
I am scared
and i feel like leaving you instead of staying in an unhappy home
HOME means burden to me not sweetness
Why wouldn't you give me some opportunity to find my happiness?
Yet, You always remind me of my pathetic life
My pathetic fate

a good paragraph

2009-11-18T02:31:00.001+08:00

"if there's a magic potion can make you lost your selected memory..
you sure you want to forget about him/her/it??
here's the question...
do you never get back your heart, or you choose not to get it back?
your friends might tell you, you should forget it, you should get over it, you should move on......
but doing things are not as easy as saying..
don't blame yourself for not getting your heart back, or not wanting to get it back. You will only give your heart to someone you think is worthy to... Others might not understand how worthy it is for you..."

Some one commented this on my status and i find it very true.

Happy sunday

2009-11-17T00:18:00.003+08:00

I miss the kitchen
I miss the oranges [fake boobs]
I miss naughty smile
I miss the expression when i am gonna pinch the ears
I miss the 'O..look there!' but who doesn't know its a trick?
I MISS SUNDAY!

Ignore this

2009-11-14T04:29:00.003+08:00

Nothing much come out from my mind today
Had night mares since tuesday night
It is really awful being chased
I run run and RUN
I run to nowhere
I could not hide myself
I know in reality, i could not hide myself and being coward too
Did it interpret something? Or did it reflect anything?
At the moment, I am listening to J.S BACH , G STRING
It emptied my mind
Like a bird flying on the big big sky
She is flying and looking at the beautiful surrounding
Is it happiness or emptiness?

However,
Do I really think nothing or i chose to think nothing....

独行侠的发泄

2009-11-06T01:19:00.003+08:00

呼！！
终于
火山爆发了！哈哈哈
从9月20日dolly的离开至今发生超级多的事情
多得我喘不过气知道吗
试过同两天连续的发生不愉快的事情吗？
从第一天中午心乱如麻到晚间的挣扎与不满却不能还手到夜里的噩梦以致失眠到第二天的中午突袭的消息，小布死了！
我。。
心脏是很脆弱的
我的心也符合不到袭来的事件
有时我在想，
为何上天要那么的折腾我呢？
为何上天要那么的为难我呢？
至少事情别来得那么突然那么密集可以吗？
到头来想想，没必要怪上天啊
这就是人生
不同的人有不同的命
只怪自己前世不修今生坎坷来得比别人在这20年里多
好累，我真得好累
一直以为我会把过去的每一件事都由他过去
可是事实不是如此
原因只是我没办法的必不得已的一定要让他过去
因为我不够时间应付接下来的事情
情绪也转换不过来
今天的大哭，好舒服，没约束的哭真的很棒
我爱怎么哭就怎么哭
算算，dolly的离开-崩溃;到接下来收到朋友的信息说要离开我的世界；接下来的寂寞孤单，妈妈去了槟城留下空溜溜的屋子，没有dolly的屋子；加上感情的复杂与愧疚与不舍与自讨苦吃自甘堕落一厢情愿与内疚到最后释怀了；接下来的星期的工作问题，拍档却不敢站出来，唯有害怕的假扮伟大假装勇敢谈论；直到要在你面前装潇洒，为的不是要让你觉得我很伟大，而是让你好过些；直到晚间的失眠，梦到好多尸体，梦到你死了；直到第二天中午，接到妈妈打来的电话说小布死了；期间与你三次严重的谈判。。。好心疼好害怕

我习惯了把责任放在肩上
我习惯了独当一面
我习惯了把真正的想法藏在心后面
我永远都是站出来的那一位
因为环境所逼，我必须当个勇敢的人
可是我认！我是胆小鬼！
我时时刻刻都在害怕爱我的人把我留在这个无情的世间

独行侠，
有时不知所措的时候，真的觉得很无助
没人可以帮忙，没人可以指点
因为大家的处理方式不同立场不同
你不会体会到我的心情，我也未必会体会到你的心情
不是说自己体验过的东西可以套在别人身上
不是说自己熬过的事情可以代表一切
可是我都很努力的站在别人的立场想，
以致久而久之的压力使得我快毙息了
也许幼稚的我还学不会真正的体谅而不是沉默

总而言之，
我还是个很幼稚的小孩！！！
我不适合谈恋爱！！！
因为我会令我的另一半好累
每当我想起这一点，我很讨厌我自己
所谓，己所不欲，无施于人

我要找回我的天真！

布布走了

2009-11-04T02:56:00.002+08:00

布。。对不起。。
走好啦。。
原谅我没好好的爱你
原谅我没好好的关心你
希望这一次，
我为你做些小小的事
对不起
你走的时候是一个人的，
可是我和妈妈都会怀念你
谢谢你这四年来的陪伴
谢谢
愿你来世会过得比现在好
听起来虽然是在替自己赔罪
可是
还是一句话
谢谢你

wtf

2009-10-31T05:58:00.001+08:00

walao..没有一天好睡咯shit..

离别

2009-10-30T03:45:00.002+08:00

为什么一波未平一波又起
为什么大家都选择在同一时间离开我
我是否令大家失望
我是否令大家很累

对不起
我没能力做些什么
可是对不起

糟透了
我很自私，
大家不约而同的说再见，
我承受不了
原来我不是伟人
当来到现实，我并不能承担
希望你们到达你们的天空时，
别忘了对我笑笑

对不起

2009-10-28T03:25:00.003+08:00

好。。现在是什么状况？
单身好！！
我的感情生活真的太糟糕了。
乱七八糟
我真的好讨厌没安全感的心情
我真的很害怕情侣的切实身份
不是为了迎来更多的狂风浪蝶而是害怕外来的感受

如果有一天，
我谈恋爱了
对象并不是在我背后默默为我付出那么多那么久的人
我是否很自私？
那他们这几年努力的牺牲无怨的付出是为了什么？！
换来的是一场空白一场虚构吗？
对不起
我不知道我应该如何处理我的心态

为何我单身那么久，
也是因为我不希望我会伤害任何一方
付出了那么多，为什么你们都不让我知道？
你们这样无声无息，我会更内疚好吗。。。
我已熟悉你们，好喜欢和你们相处的感觉，
能让我再自私的任性的要求不要剥夺它吗？
please...
我只希望天天快快乐乐的当个开朗的番薯
带来乐趣欢乐的我

现在仅有的心情，
内疚内疚内疚内疚
最近真的犯了很多很多的错，
请原谅我。。。。
对不起

这个宁静的夜晚，宝贝dolly不在我身边，害怕的时候，它不再陪伴我入眠。。。
它真的不在了。。
现在的心情真的很复杂很混乱，
可以慢慢的解开吗？
看的人也不明白吧。。。。
好想再吃个curry鸡包或到山顶吹吹风
朋友，真的很重要。
对我好的朋友我更加珍惜更加爱惜
我可以不失去你们吗？

today's mood

2009-10-24T13:12:00.006+08:00

SURPRISE FIRST!!!!HAHA

This is the recent PUDPUD...mature...woohoo~^^

It's been long time i went missing rite ppl..hahaha..though i know no one is coming to view this..XP anyway im just talking to myself LOL..its nt laziness which keeps me away so long.Just that my blogging mood wasn't there yet till this afternoon.Well, currently im up to roadshows.Hmm..so called roadshow that sounds simple and easy and relax and chilling but WRONG! Though the working hours is short, however its damn tiring man! Somehow, im enjoying la..As in i hv good team mate and good supervisor..hoho..

Next target..I wanna be usherette!muahahaha...but the fact is im not tall and sexy enough to become an outstanding usherette so nah..just forget about it..simply the salary attracts me..XP wat's going to be the next?Hm....o ya! i tried photoshooting with my friend yesterday..Well....afterall, its extremely odd as in im not a good model though i tried photoshoot before..kakakaz..so embarrasing..however i'd love to hv another chance!Yeepie!!!

By the way.im FFK QUEEN!im supposingly short listed in the TOP 25 for philips ambassador but i FFK!!!!!!GOSH..feel so GUILTY..not to the ppl from philips but myself..Im COWARD!!!and IM NOT CONFIDENT!!!>____< so SORRY PUDPUD...T___T

Trying to be pro..=.=

Not really comfortable with the posing.lol

Trying to act COOL?lol

Well i like this..^^

I wish i have .....'golden mountain'!

Cacat sgt..>__<

Afterall, good experience it was!=)

This is the 3-8 me during roadshow..come on!hahahaha..
1st-trying to be girlish..

2nd-thiss is the real me!hohohoho

this is the philips thingy lo..aihz.

this is my colleague named jason..nah..he's funny but not 'handsome'!!XP he's attached anyway..LOL

再见宝贝

2009-09-22T06:00:00.002+08:00

她。。
真的走了。。。。。。
我好像还没接受事实
可是
她真的离开我了
这一天到了
虽然有了两年的心理准备
可是
她还是不在了
九年。。
这九年
不是短暂的
我真的很爱很爱你！！！

感觉

2009-09-08T03:37:00.003+08:00

艺术就像感觉
它是空气
它是空间
不实际的

感觉也是不实际的
它就是感觉

当我迷失在这感觉的时候
没有对和错
我可以任性的跟随自己的感觉吗？
不管对或错
可以自私吗？

错错错

2009-09-04T04:41:00.003+08:00

我没有勇气接受爱情
我给不到任何的承诺
我只会做的就是逃避
当你把一只脚踏入泥巴的时候，你可以清洗干净，不会痛
当你把一只脚踏入老鼠夹的时候，你可以把它拔掉，会痛
当你把一只脚踏入强力胶的时候，请问能把你的脚砍断吗？很痛！
这是一个错误，
错错错！
最多
让它成为一个美好回忆
呵

sorry

2009-09-03T04:22:00.002+08:00

sOrry for the eyesore..
Im so much better now.
Though she's so sorry and everybody deserves a chance to be forgiven, but i still dowana talk to her so much..sienz..
y must this happens almost once a month?wat's wrong with her..

BRAINLESS BITCH GO HELL

2009-09-01T03:10:00.008+08:00

STUPID FUCKING BITCH SHUT UR STUPID FUCKING MOUTH UP
WAT THE FUCK
BRAINLESS
HOW RIDICULOUS R YOU!
HOW CHILDISH R YOU!!
PLS LA..
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK OUT!!!!!

STOP CRAPPING NONSENSE
WAT THE FUCK CURSING ARE THESE!!

I'LL DEFINITELY BE NORMAL AND NOT GOING TO BE INSANE LIKE U
I'LL DEFINITELY GET A GOOD MAN TO GET MARRIED WITH
I'LL DEFINITELY KEEP MY VIRGIN TO MY LOVE

IM NT GONNA BE RAPPED
IM NT GONNA BE ABANDONED
IM NT GONNA BE CRAZY

STOP CURSING ME OLD WOMAN

I'LL LIVE ON MY OWN WAY!
WITHOUT YOU STUPID IDIOT FUCKING BITCH
GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAT THE FUCKING FAMILY IS THIS!!!
I'LL ALWAYS KEEP THIS ON MY MIND!!!
FOREVER!!!!
U OWE ME THIS!!!
NOT GOING TO BE SETTLED WITH A 'SORRY' ANYMORE!

lost in reko hahahaha..XD

2009-08-26T13:33:00.004+08:00

Don't know what stuck in my mind recently....
Seem like i have lost my direction
Seem like i no longer have my own perspective....
No longer know how to categorize good and bad,right and wrong, dos and donts

[If the chocolate is chocolate,
it can be dark chocolate, milk chocolate and white chocolate]
You get me?

As a human being, u can be in any character in different position and condition.
I...
want to be a DARK CHOCOLATE..
A strong and unique girl
Who has her own mind set and do her best to be a good person
Who can bring the happiness to her family and her dearest friends
Who can be her own DADDY and MUMMY

....................................................................................................................................
but can i have the guideline?

距离

2009-08-22T17:25:00.000+08:00

《距离》

世界上最遥远的距离，不是生与死，而是我就站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你。世界上最遥远的距离，不是我就站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你，而是明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起。世界上最遥远的距离，不是明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起，而是明明无法抵挡这股想念，却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里。世界上最遥远的距离，不是明明无法抵挡这股想念，却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里，而是用自己冷默的心，对爱你的人掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠

woah..i love this paragraph man!!!cooL~~

BULLSHIT

2009-08-19T06:13:00.002+08:00

我
真的很USELESS

Damn!
a dream of being good dancer, good teacher, good daughter, good girl friend
Neither of these can be ACHIEVED!

Im bullshit
Bullshit!!!
Hold ur tears up
USELESS BULLSHIT!!

闷

2009-08-10T22:14:00.001+08:00

被排挤的感觉不好受
被拥挤的感觉也不好受

人难做做人难

wake me up

2009-08-07T08:27:00.001+08:00

It's 8.30 the morning..
i should got myself on bed
haha
ridiculous life i hv had for this week
Gotta be back onto track starts on sat
Wake up PUDPUDLING TAN
LOL

演出心得

2009-08-02T03:16:00.003+08:00

老师，一想到你那句话
我真的很怕很怕很伤心
眼泪会不停的流
对不起

借口给多了
就是多余
就是没心

对。。
我真的没心要做
可是也因为我真的很累了
可是你那句话把我给吓坏

一句话
就是我泪泉的开关键

今天发生了好多好多的事
都是些不高兴的事，
惟有苦中作乐的就是跳舞
整个演出好坎坷
面临随时会取消会延迟
伤到了腰却只能拼命得撑下去
为的只是要呈现最好的给观众看
也为了我亲爱的朋友

唉
他让我感觉到
原来师徒也含着互相利用的成分
好失望

我的人生就是在寻找答案

2009-07-13T16:58:00.003+08:00

也许我的宝贝说得对
我也许比一般的人还坚强
我也许需要一个人的疼爱
我也许是时候打开心房
懂得放下自己
接受幸福
宝贝，可能他会是一个好男生
一个会牢牢记住我说过的每一句话
一个会变变魔术的男生
一个会努力满足我的要求
这时候的付出我来日也许不能回报得了
不是每个男生都像你的迪儿那样珍惜你
他一句话感动了我
男生付出多一点是天经地义
这个时代能说出这样的话的人少之又少
我不是在做比较
只是我希望我会爱自己多一点
我很喜欢独来独往
这你也比我清楚

可是当我蒙上眼的那一刻
她要求我们慢慢的摸索
舞台就是安全地带
一路上
我慢慢地走
音乐很大很大声
但似乎比平时还要平静
听到的是我的心跳声我的呼吸声
那一路的恐惧
其实就是反映我一生以来的恐惧
我害怕
对
我就是害怕
随着熟习的环境
听着了将面临的障碍
那是因为我听得见
所以我有机会避开
可是在人生里
没有人知道那会是怎样的一条路
没有人能够听得见那一个结果
盲目
盲忙
人就是这样
最后还是给不了自己一个答案

我今天就是违背了自己的原则
我翘班了！！！
哈哈
也许惜惜看穿了我
我
的确需要多一点的休息
也不晓得自己在忙个什么屁
也不晓得自己可以坚强多久
我其实自欺欺人
有谁能够孤战一世人
昨天被你牵着的手
已经没有安全感了
每一次的几个小时
我们便演变成不同的人
在那个地方可以释放自己
也因此我爱去
我很不想伤害任何人也不想被伤害
因此我也已经收拾好心情
没有任何期望
也就没有任何失望
我要封锁我的心！

我有一位朋友
他很贪心
a也要b也要
这样的人容易出轨
也因此而两头不对岸
那不是真正的爱情
那只是对爱情的期待
那只是对爱情的盲目
我也好担心有朝一日我会步上他的后路
一个没有承诺的爱情
一个没有名分的爱情
是轻浮
还是因为害怕
是轻松
还是因为胆怯

我了解我自己
当我能爱上那个人
我可以不顾一切
甘愿奋不顾身
觉得为他付出是值得的
所以宝贝我其实了解你过去的心态
曾经我的darling说
最不吸引我的就是他
你为何会看上他
哈哈
很简单
有时候
感觉胜于一切
他在你心里已经是最好的
但理性派一族
当到达一个程度
我会清醒
不会让自己再陷下去
那很不简单
爱过的人都知道

也许你读完这篇文章你会一头雾水
没办法
我的人生观念就是
一头雾水

杀手

2009-07-08T07:04:00.003+08:00

爱情
是
无声
无色
无影
的
残忍杀手

今夜

2009-07-05T03:59:00.000+08:00

外面
好大风哦
很凉爽
好久没撞球了
怀念
^^
真的很享受夜里的安静

胡思乱想

2009-07-03T21:57:00.002+08:00

突然
感触好多
心情真的很复杂
我还是适合出去工作
呆在家
灵魂却不知飘到哪儿去
胡思乱想
妈的

人怎么才能到达一个平衡点

什么事情都是对扯

可是真的能吗?

我想看看风景
等下就要去而且买瓶啤酒

好讨厌你

我需要钱去寻找满足感吗？

2009-07-03T04:23:00.004+08:00

请问如何从金钱与爱情之间作选择？
请问又如何从金钱与梦想之间作选择？

有谁能够不被经济摆动
有谁能够受得住金钱的诱惑？

你能吗？

是否很矛盾

Love is precious
but
Money is important

Love is blind
but
Money KEEPS UR EYES OPEN!

No money No love
No money No life
but
People do need love and money simultaneously to get alive...

你可以说

我有钱！
我买到人脉和关系
所以我不缺朋友

我有钱！
我买到女人的爱慕虚荣
所以我不缺少伴侣

我有钱！
我买到我想要的东西
所以我不缺快乐

我有钱！
我买到人脉我买到女人我买到快乐
所以我不缺幸福！

钱固然重要
可是钱并买不到命运或运气
钱虽然万能
可是钱却买不到一颗真诚的心
钱必然了不起
可是钱并买不到不朽的智慧
有了智慧
有了头脑
你当然是最富有的

我知道钱真的很重要
追求钱财没有罪
为了谋生　为了生存　为了那三餐　为了过得好　为了地位
但
真挚的心
珍贵的时间
智慧的不朽　艺术的深奥
却是再多的金钱也买不到的

－－－－－－－－－－
好会鼓励
－－－－－－－
－－－－－
－－－
－－

到头来

现实毕竟是现实
梦想依然是梦想
要作抉择
真的好难

我该当一个反抗社会规律的人
还是跟着社会规律生活的人？
我了解现实的丑陋
但我却想相信背后的希望

我需要钱去寻找满足感吗？

谁能懂你的玫瑰

2009-07-02T02:37:00.003+08:00

有一个秘密
是否我能告诉谁
大家的心里都有一朵玫瑰
很漂亮
新鲜的枯萎的
幸福的惨痛的
香味却刺痛

这只属于自己的秘密
是奥妙
还是神秘
不是有趣
有秘密
是负担
宇宙也有秘密

那不是怪异
也不神奇
因为它也有灵魂
有生命
只是
到底谁
能懂你的玫瑰

今日之忧郁

2009-06-26T23:05:00.001+08:00

突然想到一句话
我的朋友说
我很喜欢忧郁的感觉

忧郁
真的有那么大的力量吗
为何我好似浸在忧郁中？

今天的工作很不错
没有被人臭骂
呵呵
忧郁~~

Funeral

2009-06-26T03:34:00.006+08:00

Went to a funeral tonite
My friend and his mom and family members were steadily welcoming us
How friendly they were
Lot BMWssss caught my eyes on it
couldn't leave for even 0.11 seconds
Why 0.11 u would say,it's just simply because i have 11 as my house's number
Inside joke to brighten this down night
I hope he's OK
Did not sleep for more than 48 hours
Take care buddy

Had orange juice with the ppl
Totally different i can tell
They are so much different from u all
I see further things on them
Amazing and complicated
Money and friendship

Anything has a full stop at the end of the day
I am obliged to put this full stop here
Good night MY MOON

2009-06-26T03:34:00.001+08:00

Went to a funeral tonite

Waiting LOT

2009-06-24T02:24:00.008+08:00

Today's been a long long day for me..
Alarm rang at 12pm in the empty air
Slept late in the morning 6
Tasteless breads with biscuits went into my stomach
Now im sympathizing at ppl who's not granted with taste buds
Watched movies on youtube again
Lovely bed was tempting me
Saw u in the dream my prince but who are u?
Ready myself and went to ktm
SPENT 45 MINS WAITING THE STUPID DELAYED TRAIN
finally reached wangsa
SPENT 30 MINS WAITING MY FRIEND
everything was settled and went to masean
LATE so sitting there watching
class ended with appearance of Cheryl
Had dinner with the gals at station 1
Look at the awesome pictures taken from the beautiful corners in UK
im so jealous....and happy for her..=)
She has a wonderful life there with good friends
Again tasteless 'fried sause noodles' in my mouth while spiciness in throat *HOT*
Chilled
Leng lui swan drove me to leisure mall
Tasteless milk chocolate from Cheryl while waiting the stupid LATE bus
Here it goes..
SPENT ANOTHER 60 MIN!
Fucking wasting my time
NO BUS
sms dear siew..he's willing to fetch me home in case the bus still doesnt show up
FINALLY...it came while he's tking shower XD hahaha
THANKS DEAR SIEW!!>___<
I saw reko now
Thanks bus driver and walked
So lonely journey yet peaceful at 12AM MIDNIGHT
till the chinese uncle ran clumsily from the only road heading home
Wat the heck..
Was wondering if anyone was chasing him?
Scared and worried
Took out my razor blade and be ready to defence myself in case there's bad ppl doing crime
Half way...nothing's wrong...
Relieved and called mum out Haha
She sayang me and we met up in front of house MUACKS mummy
Home sweet Home
Approached refrigerator to find the tasty Grapes
yeah MUM MUM TIME!heee
but TASTELESSSSSSSSSSSSS

Right this moment

Weird Struggling Confusing

No idea why could it be

What am i looking for?

幼稚的大男孩让你又好气又好笑

2009-06-15T15:49:00.005+08:00

你知不知道，
当别人在数你不是的时候
那是一个良机,而不是耍脾气耍性子的时机。
虽然你会不赞同他的100%，无论如何还是会有些对的
当别人在给与你忠告的时候
宁静的听取是一门学问，
也是对他人的尊重。。
一个幼稚的人就会不接受，没关系，严重的还会像个小孩子般做一些小动作让你看了都会气。
那就是幼稚！

突然间
相信我的人越来越少
不排除最亲近的唯一的亲人
如果没有信任
一家人是没办法相处的
如果没有信任
一对情侣是没办法长久的
怎样去好好的生活在一起
深奥的知识
学到老活到老
不是说你眼前看到的事情你学到的东西
就是天下就是一切！
人应该不断的学习不断的成长不断的省悟
跟着你信仰的宗教也好，伟大的哲学家也好，
东西是没完没了的。
宇宙有多大？
无限
我们也不知道宇宙之外是否还有另个世界并存
对吗？
真的那么喜欢赢吗？
赢了那争执又如何？
一时的爽快一时的痛快
对你有什么好处吗？
真的好幼稚
问问你们哦
是否有见过一种人，他得罪了你可是却先摆脸色，就如你有错在先，过后还需要你去安慰他？
成语说：恶人先告状！！！哈哈哈

所以
做人别自以为是
做人别太自私
做人别太幼稚
可怜的你
加油吧
对
我就是在嘲笑你
因为你不知廉耻
我也有很多不是，很多弱点
我不是很成熟
我不是很得体
我不是很大方大量
可是至少我愿意承认我愿意接受我愿意听取
那对我好对我有帮助啊

我没什么好廉耻的
至少我妈都好过你耶
至少她愿意听人家说

我不是在生气你因为你不是我的谁
我是在替一个深爱着你的女孩感到可怜可悲
万一嫁了给你
她会幸福吗？
上天保佑

这是我今天学到的东西
1 信任
2 尊重
3 忍耐
4 谦虚

大家也提醒自己哦！=)
不然有智慧的大人看在眼里当笑话！
有什么意见请多多留言！别客气！

如果你能把这段文章联系起来，你真的了解我

2009-05-25T15:32:00.003+08:00

为了身边他深爱的人
他结束了自己的生命
他并不伟大
却显得堕落
可是
他让我感觉到
爱的力量
爱的付出

原来人类
真的能为了爱而做出
大家都想不到的事情

原来音符
有那么庞大的杀伤力
让人不知觉神魂颠倒

一滴雨水
是上天伤心的泪水
感叹人世间的无情

倾盆大雨
是上天怜悯的心意
为什么
只为了洗净人们的杂念
好让大地有回生的希望

他希望
当花花草草长出小苗
依在温湿的土地怀里
清晰的水晶露伴随着
清新的空气随风飘来
快乐幸福的探出小头
朝着四光射发的阳光
满怀希望努力活下去

叹惜
我已不是这朵小花小草
我也没有机会重生
我的阳光时而光芒时而黯淡
当乌云来袭
威猛的太阳显得淡然又无力
无知的花花草草迷失了方向
四处不停寻寻觅觅误打误撞
到头来搞得伤痕磊磊
也不晓得自己用意何在

人生真的有好多好多让我们学习

我是快乐的天使
但没人知道
天使身后的感叹
天使身后的饥渴
天使身后的肮脏
天使身后的黑暗
天使身后的灵魂
我其实也是令人讨厌的恶魔

你和我没两样
你和我一样可恶
一样可爱=）
不同的环境，不同的体验，不同的领悟
创造不同的你我
我不比你们成熟
我不比你们懂事
我不比你们快乐
我不比你们幸福
可是我学会自己寻找那一片天空
那一片有生命的大地
最重要的
我
学会自足
不再转牛角尖！！！！！！！！！！！

生日快乐之lang tengah

2009-05-16T01:49:00.004+08:00

五月十四
那是怎样的一晚
那是怎样的一天
凉风吹过时
站在白色沙滩上
站在清澈海水里
我
没有想法
没有烦恼
这世界好像是美妙的
没有蜡烛没有蛋糕
却有大家的祝福
被大家的歌声围绕着
即简单又感人
心动的感觉
只有那么的人数
聚在这个小岛上
是缘分吗？
美好的大自然
闭上双眼
把手打开
海风穿梭指尖
海风轻吻脸颊
海风吹过耳朵
我看不见你
可是我听见你
可是我感觉你
不知你是从何处
一望无际
既是震撼既是平静
人生就如这一刻
深奥却简陋
轻柔的风
跟随花瓣的花香
清晰的
蓝眼泪
跟随海浪的飘动
闪亮的
也许是自己的幻想
谢谢你给我的礼物
谢谢你给我的幸福
也许是大海对我说
谢谢你的生日快乐

Tough

2009-05-08T15:06:00.003+08:00

The tougher it be the further you go
Its not happening like you expect
Tougher
Tougher
Tougher
Than you can imagine
Fighting alone without supports
Its too harsh
NO one..
No one can understand you

When can i go through this emotional wars
How long would i need
This process is tormenting me
Crying without tears

四个字·哈哈

2009-05-02T16:53:00.002+08:00

轻风嗒嗒
随着音乐
含着酒意
弥蒙的心
手牵着手
想

起

甜美回忆

OMG i did TAG!!!!

2009-04-24T19:48:00.003+08:00

1. The person who tagged you?
Evonney Sha

2. Your relationship with him/her is?
Course mate in Taylors

3. Your impressions of him/her
Innocent and hardworking girl^^ *don't fly*

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you
Gave me comfort during my hard time

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you
I LOVE YOU =P hohoho

6. If he/she becomes your lover you will
Love her always..hiak2

7. If he/she becomes your lover,things he/she has to improve on will be
Accepting my love towards her..*wah~cold~hahaha*

8. If he/she becomes your enemy,you will
Mission impossible!!!definitely we won't be enemy hor..hehe

9. If he/she becomes your enemy,the reason will be
I can't see that day.haha XD

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now
Make her happy and out of depression!>__<

11. Your overall impression of him/her is
Kind hearted and not involving in complicated world..hee..tats great!

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?
I'm quite troublesome and too noisy sometimes..rite ppl?paiseh ya..hee =P

13. The characters you love of yourself are
None......T___T how pity

14. On the contrary,the characters that you hate about yourself
LOT!!Im lazy and can get out of control most of the time and too playful!hehe..o ya!and i cant tell lies i hate this!!!

15. The most ideal person you want to be is
Hmm...no one is perfect so no ideal person in my mind at this moment..

16. For people who care and love you,you say something to them
Thank you so much!i would repay u everything i could!!!

17. Pass this test to 10 persons who you wished to know how they feel about you
-1- Sek Cheng
-2- Viviaan
-3- Ji yan
-4- Maggie
-5- Sabrina
-6- Mapple
-7- Zanggih
-8- Sopoh
-9- Joash
-10- Hoh jerard

* For those whom i didnt tag, doesnt mean i forgotten u k? its because i knew that someone else has tagged u. see! i treat u so nice! hehe =)

18. Who is no.6?
Yen fein..hot girl who is my former secondary school mate..

19. Is no.9 a male or female?
Male of course..haha

20. If no.7 and no.10 together,is that a good thing?
Walao tat'll be amazing!!!muahaha..

21. What is no.2 studying about?
Accounting in Sydney..

22. When is the last time you had a chat with no.3?
The day we at KLIA..

23. What kind of music band does no.8 like?
SHE luu..she's their crazy fans!

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
YEAP!^^

25. Will you woo no.3?
Definitely if im hot guys coz she's super HOTSSSS AND PRETTY!!

26. How about no.7?
Haha..good idea as she's so good in protecting her partner..hor zanggih..hiak3

27. Is no.4 single?
So far yea i guess...got not miggie?tell me tell me!!!XP

28. What is the surname of no.5?
Lin...tsk tsk tsk..

29. What is the hobby of no.10?
Haha..no idea leh..sry jerard!>__<

30. Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
Nope!They don't know each other..hoho..

31. Where is no.2 studying at?
Sydney..So darn far away from me..T__T

32. Talk something casually about no.1
Emo!!!haha but mature as well as she knows what's the matter with her from time to time.

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no.6?
Omg im not lesbian..-.-

34. Where does no.9 live at?
Subang but hometown at muar..Wow im genius!huhu

35. What colour does no.4 like?
Should be dark colours..is it？

36. Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
Don't think so though they r from same secondary..haha

37. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
Oh yeah! X) she can be sexy!!!

38. What is no.6 doing now?
Online probably?how would i know?tak kan go to her house to peek her?wat if she's taking shower?o.O woo hoo~

Vonney HAPPY BIRTHDAY I LOVE YOU!

2009-04-23T23:18:00.006+08:00

Darling darling 我爱你~

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY

Our first LOVED picture

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my little gal!!!^^

My little gal VONNE VONNE
Been through precious momentS with you in 2008
Love being by ur side
Love being playful when sticking together
Love being such big bullier
Spent my hard moment with you in G12
(remember?luckily i have you and cs who always believe in me during tat harsh period)

Slacking together

I wish
All the best from the world goes to you
I know intuitively
You'll be very strong! You'll be very fine!
I know
it's our privilege
To be cheerful
To be fun
To be LOVED

because

I'm here loving you all the time *wink* (=^ ^=)

*p/s i never forget it's ur birthday today
i wish i could keep my wishes and blessing for you at the last moment
forget the troubles and Be Happy!
And thanks for being my little gal..=)

❤生日快乐❤

❤

Lost in the cloud

2009-04-22T05:44:00.004+08:00

Omg..it's now 5.58am...
I must be crazy!!!
I won't say this if i have no piano lesson tomorrow..hahaha...
>___<
My sleeping time is changing
My eating time is changing
What's going on!!
The first second, i hv appetite and i wish to eat the whole cow
The next second, i hv no appetite and i wish i can vomit out everything i hv eaten
The first second, i wish i could occupy the nice decorated comfy bed
The next second, i wish i can stay awake forever
The first second, i love to hang in the dream
The next second, i love to be in the reality
The first second, i find the path which seems leading me to the mountain
The next second, i find myself lost in the wood!

Where's my next footprint?
if i see the beautiful flower
if i see the tiger
if i see the angels

Seems like im lost
Lost in the cloud
I knew it intuitively
It's my instinct

An action is a thought made manifest

Vinigen

2009-04-16T21:38:00.002+08:00

I miss B711 when i taste vinigen

Everything's like just happened yesterday

Wondering if time can reverse

Back to the moment

When we lived together
When we ate together
When we swam together
When we sang together
When we studied together
When we cried together

It's like a movie
Playing in front of my eyes
I miss you

突然来袭

2009-04-16T21:01:00.003+08:00

有时候
回忆
也只能是回忆
就算把它给忘了
它还是没能消失

我
是因为一只蚂蚁而放弃吗？
也许
我认为
这一切都不值得
不值得

有些人事物
适合就是适合
不适合就是不适合
但适合却又不适合
你能明白吗？

未来有一天
回味
心还是会抽痛

转牛角尖
令人痛苦
放下心头大石
还是做不到

始终搞不清楚
原来自己最不了解自己

宁愿
谁也不伤害谁
一个人过日子

BIG BLUE WHALE

2009-04-15T18:09:00.004+08:00

Okey~sry for nt updating myself here..muahaha XP
especially to TAN SEK CHENG!!and YAP VEE WEN! and MIGGIE!
lol..sc said i was like disappeared alr..hohoho..
and sry dear vivian for nt replying ur msg...
miggie too~muacks gals!!!hehe...^^ thnx for nt forgetting me though we stay far apart..touched~~~~*sobsob*
well basically i was busy with my job at MV..again..
there was an -BIG BLUE WHALE- exhibition held by national geographic in MV!
i learnt lot and something i'd never know or realize in my life!

DO U ACTUALLY KNOW WHALES MILKING?
or
THEY SHUT DOWN HALF OF THEIR BRAIN AT NIGHT?

hahaha..dun be suprise!!but yes they do milking...
the big blue baby which is 2 months old,with the length of 25 feet,as long as a city bus was here in malaysia!And the baby whales consume calories as much as 64000 hamburgers per day..OMG..tats lot!!!they dont eat human and they'll spilt us out eventhough they hv swollen us.this is due to their small sized throat that couldnt fit us in.hahaha..so no worries if u swim with them!but i dun think u can swim as fast like them coz they can swim in 10km/hr.Amazing isnt it?The adult whales can grow up till 100 feet!!So UNBELIEVABLE！its like 2 city buses from bumper to bumper!in addition,they will shut down half of their brain so tat the other part can still function when they sleep at night.U noe y?They r mammals and they need to surface in order to breath.Tats y they keep on swimming while sleeping at the same time!!!i was like O.O??? are u joking with me?pls dun lie the innocent gal like me..muahahaha..n he was like...o.O?? y would i bluff u?hahaha..XD anyway,i love to work for this event! i get lot of experiences nt only knowing there are actually 33 species out of 88 dolphins r found in malaysia.and no doubt there r whales in malaysia too!!!if im nt wrong,one in sabah n another in kuantan!!!!omg..how i wish i can see them in real!!!>___< but too bad many of them get killed every year due to human hunting and collision with big ships..T__T they r endangered speices and going to extinct.Poor whale...

U HAVE BRAIN,SO PLS THINK OF IT and BEWARE OF THE INNOCENT CREATURES!

okay~haha..paiseh..im nt hired to present or explain anyway..LOL im jz interested on it and tats y i read n asked the ppl from MALAYSIA NATURE SOCIETY.and i found there r more to go in the future and more ppl will be needed in marine science!Though i wont distribute anything in this field in the future but i do still hope i can help them to promote.hahaha..

so PLEASE LOVE THE EARTH! k?^__^

p.s i hv recovered now! healthy like a dragon! XP and i met new friend in this event!!a talkative and friendly pretty lady..i like her..hohoho...she occupied my boring hours there..LOL

Blood Test

2009-03-29T21:02:00.002+08:00

Pud went for blood test in kajang hospital today...T___T
Its painful~~some more stupid doctors scared me..wuu...He was joking anyway..XD
But luckily i had gud nurse with me..hahaha
Well..at first i went to clinic n haha..the doctor was real good doctor..
y say so..she's nt slacking with my illness but immediately wrote a letter for me and asked me to go to hospital because she suspected im hving deman denggi..
hmm...im not so worried but was scared with the test...
And so i called my friend out to keep me accompany..haha
coz as u noe...government.....-.- takes ur life just to see the doctor...huhu
So sick with waiting for such long time walao...took my few hours of waiting only....sien~
Afterall the doctor told me tat im hving less platlet than normal in my body..
Its like 92 instead of normal 150.but she said she suspected only..
Will know it if i take another blood test by tml and most probably tues as well if the result isnt gud.O.o tat means i still hv to let the bloody needle to get through my skin n my arteries...yew~~~~~~~~~~~~~>__<
wat to do.....Y im sick???T___T

Somehow...friends pls dun worry coz im too strong to be sick luu...LOL
awaiting the GOOD news...hiak hiak....=) *wink*

Marley and ME

2009-03-26T14:36:00.002+08:00

Sry for the second post in the same day...

[Marley n Me]

DONT WATCH!!before u regret and kick urself out from the cinema!
unless u want to cry like a baby...
T___________T
brilliant me!chose nt to watch it in cinema but watch online...
*sobsob*
Its heartbreaking while touching at the same time
Incredible movie i can say it is
So please do have a seat in the cinema one day
Sekian
Tears flow like water in the river
I'll get the book before it floods in my house >___<

生病记-感言

2009-03-26T07:19:00.003+08:00

People...hehe
^^
pud's back again..to tell u my 生病记
since i had insomnia(-.- slept too much the day before i guess) n stayed awake for the whole night...i decided to wake up and surf the net...finally back to my dear bloggie..ang gu gu...hahaha..(geli~~~~~>___<)

Hmm...apparently i think i had fever in such sudden single lonely(mum went to penang..T__T) night its jz bcoz of my tooth...its coming out gradually..tats y i had terrible headache that i felt like i was going to explode!!!haha..fine...i woke up and ate 2 packs of biscuits..and i found out that my head was tormenting me..fine....i back to my bed...u noe when kungfu ppl 走火入魔？？haha..now i kind of experienced it..LOL jz joking..XP basically i jz fell asleep and woke up ocassionally..fun huh?i thought i'd be better if i sleep more..bt dengdeng~BIG MISTAKE!!so at the end,i asked my friend who was yumcha-ing outside to bring me panadol when he wanted to go home..1.15am?nvm..THNX lot for the last min!!!!U saved my life!!for the moment at least..hehe...so i consumed the 2 paracetamol(my spelling correct?) with ORGANIC soya..how healthy im..*wink*..ended up the nite on bed..again..

The next day...went up in the afternoon and cleaned up..then went to gk for dancing class..hmm..its nt syllabus we did bt learnt new choreographed piece for competition and suprisingly my teacher wanted me to think of some steps..tats one of the reason causing me hving insomnia RIGHT NOW!haha..bt who cares?=P
In conclusion...how's it?sien hor?hahaha..=S say its nice pls~~~haha..joking la..paiseh paiseh..im nt 'HOT' as yesterday and tuesday right now.(Tuesday i was 'HOT & COLD' u get me if u noe this song)^^ But still abit dizzy..i tell u har..having fever is better than drinking liquor..of course must exclude the headache tq.haha..more ving luu deng..LOL dun try if u r under 18..
finally..i wanna thnx my friends who gave me so much of cares..O! especially josh~!sry n thxn!yee vonne oso!!paiseh yea..frighten u all nia..(they were worried tat i'd faint at home)no worries da jie's so strong mah..hehe...CHILLS!of course..thnx to those sent me msg yea...they cured me faster and i'll recover sooner!=)

Sekian terima kasih...

生病

2009-03-24T14:21:00.001+08:00

生病了
妈的
好辛苦
发烧加头痛
又没有药物

T___T

Current life

2009-03-18T04:52:00.003+08:00

Let's update with my life currently..
Basically..haha
Had been working for the past few days...hmm...
kinda tiring but fun as u can see lot of customers with different attitudes..
Its cool enough for u to meet them for 4 days..but not 7 days..
I cant imagine how would i be on the 8th day..LOL
Was working at MV,redemption counter..haha..stupid job la..
But got the chance to know more ppl and learn and gain new knowledge..
Its pretty awesome somehow..but definitely not the moment when I met fussy customers..>__<
really irritating tau tak?but wat i must put on my face was...*SMILE*
hehe..^^ but i do learn alot from this experience..
recently busy with my preparation for ballet competition..
Have been sosososo busy..n quite occupied all the days....
of course i did spend time outgoing oso lar..with my buddies mah...
I'll..no..I must precious every moment i hv in my life with my friends around..
NOTES:ALL MY FRIENDS!!no matter where u r now..*wink wink* get me?u r part of my heart now..hehe..=)
Pathetic..im afraid of loneliness wor..how?haha..
Most importantly...i feel like playing L4D badly!!!!!!!!!!warhhhhh~~~!!!
I miss to be one of the monster especially BOOMER!!!
i was once great in being tat OK!who says gals dun play BLOODY GAME???
LOL..at least i'd...hehe..

COME JOIN ME!!!=P

p/s**so im sry if i dun look for u guys recently..hv been busy ya..hehe..muacks!!
n its raining here...AGAIN....boring but lovely...hahaha..which do u think i meant it?FIGURE IT OUT!

Stupid emo fcuking mood

2009-03-09T18:52:00.004+08:00

Raining raining raining raining

haha
Perfect moment
I love
I smell
I smell
you you you
and
you
I smell
rain
Its beautiful
With the loves
I'll have sweet dreams
Wanna be in the crowd
quietly
Sounds counter-intuitive
.......
Im changing
Am i?
Enjoy the moments
Listen the craps
Im coward
Fear of loneliness
Im useless
Im rotten
You could put ur finger through me
Crazy Lazy Clumsy
duhhhh
Stop crapping
********
KISS MY ASS & DRINK MY WATER
Muahahahaha
Its our secret
Our trend
I find my sky here
Yet losing it by minutes
...Seconds...
Waving hand
Saying goodbye
To the sky
sky
sky
sky
^__^

*Please smile at me*
and
You'll be appreciated
With a HUG

咽不住气了

2009-03-05T22:18:00.003+08:00

一直催眠自己
告诉自己
我的脸皮很厚很厚
硬着头皮厚着脸皮
低声哀求
方便载我回吗？
又是你答应过可以帮忙
出尔反尔
妈的
可以别假惺惺吗？
嗯。。。应该可以载的。。。。。。。。。。。。妈的
讲的那么勉强
我还可以怎样？
还问一些假到要死的话
你可以吗？你ok的hor?真的是不好意思哦。。因为我要赶回家冲凉。。下次要早点告诉我嘛。so我可以安排我的时间。。
难道我可以讲不ok咩？
fuck off！！
赶时间还可以跟老师谈得天花地乱？
过后还要在大家面前做戏？
一忍再忍
我也有自尊的ok!
一次又一次
快要到极限了
6km RM2
厉害咧
我不介意给钱
因为那是理所当然的
你没有义务要载我
可是当朋友在困难时需要你的帮助
可以可怜下吗？
没有车的人好欺负吗？？
我平时对你也不赖啊
你问我舞步我也有教啊
我也不会自私的把心得把技巧收藏起来不和你分享
要和我计较？我可以跟你计较！
载老师回又前没关系后没关系
那么不顺路也没关系
还嘻嘻哈哈的
ish。。。真是可悲。。
做人那么计较不累吗？
那么有心计不累吗？
每一次都要弄得我多么的低贱多么的不好意思
我忍
我忍
我忍
老师说
被人欺负时候
能忍的人才能成大器
好
我忍！！！！！！！！！
rx，对不起
虽然我听了这位大人物对你的complain我很生气
好想一肚子气的告诉你
可是我不能
唉。。。
虽然不爽还是得忍
谁叫我是寄人篱笆之下。。
谢谢樱在我需要帮忙的时候伸出援手
也谢谢那帮会因为担心我的安全而载我的死党
谢谢你们
因为那位大人物
让我更加更加更加清楚的知道
我是很幸福的！！！
谢谢谢谢谢谢
****感动中****
让我更珍惜你们
爱你们！muacks!!!!

The call

2009-02-25T19:29:00.003+08:00

I said im happy
to ease u
to please u
so
u wont be guilty
u wont be worried

Wat's the use to reunion?
u all dun care
u all wont care

Wish to get rid of the deepest guilt
before the end of ur journey?
Wtheck..
Im pretending as a good and smart gal like u all expected
But am i real forgiving?I DOUBT...hahaha
Maybe im not good in disappointing ppl
LOL
I said...
at least im happy with my life now..
being who am i
living with my mum with my friends...
my friends do give me favour..
they get rid of my emptiness..loneliness....
but this is the truth..
i understand
its a fact its fated
i dun blame anyone
i feel contented by the way
trying to love trying to appreciate trying to accept
jz been lost some of the times..
hehe^^ i'll get my path at the right moment

p/s*** yap vee wen....contact me leh..if u ever read this...missing u la beh jiap siew..>___<

刘美琪去perth了。。

2009-02-09T10:14:00.001+08:00

刘美琪
一路顺风
潇洒的离开
不错嘛！
加油！！！！！！！！！！！！
不够油就从肚子拿。。
所以不用害怕！！！！
要去玩去闯咯！去啦去啦。。。。

p/s***不舍得你列。。T__T

Her Morning Elegance / Oren Lavie

2009-02-04T22:39:00.002+08:00

walao...people!u shud look at this!!!such creative MV it is!please enjoy and appreciate it! Its incredibly lovely and i really like this very much!!hahaha..... ENJOY!!!(must......grhhh!!!XP)

For ur convenience, here comes the lyrics to know wat's the song about..

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasently strange
And counting the change
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Here are some comments that youtube users have made which i think its reasonable..ENJOY!

caleesfinnest:I think it is a mental issue and she's either contemplating suicide. That is something much more hidden to themselves rather than cancer. People are more reluctant to say that they are suicidal than to say they have cancer. It's more of a me against the world attitude. And nobody knows what's going on. It makes much more sense. Its a struggle everyday. In a way, it's a cancer in the mind of her lonely soul.

kasskoffee: I thought of a lonely depressed woman. I agree a lot with caleesfinnest. 'Flower in a vase.' Cello lying in it's case' 'Slipper by the fireplace': they all sound like something lonely and underused.

有意义的照片

2009-02-03T15:24:00.000+08:00

纯粹分享

偶然收到这样的mail..

DRUNK

2009-02-01T14:17:00.005+08:00

wtf
i love to be drunk
do i feel better now?
hahahahaha
wtf
im laughing
wat do u think
i did something so not like the usual fanshu wtf
im gripping firmly and tightly
why!? wtf
i want to be crazy can i
should be getting better and better after every emo
but still there........
why!? wtf
when was the last time i cried without limit
hahahahaha
it was so releasing yesterday
an hour they said LOL wtf
but can it solve the problems!?wtf
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what's in my mind?!?!? wtf
the food in stomach was about to come out but at the end it didn't
even the food bullied me wtf
IM SO SORRY for my craziness last night
so sorry
**barcelona SUCKS!

p/s FORGET EVERYTHING I DID!!!!! >___________<

Angels please HELP

2009-01-31T00:38:00.007+08:00

wtf wtf wtf wtf
im going mad im going crazy
my mind is going to explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WANT TO BE DRUNK SO BAD
i noe y im so forgetful right nw
i keep urs problems in my mind instead of mine!!!
can u let me breath?PLEASE la wtf
y m i always be the one who keep all the complaints???!?!?!
should i be proud ??im so LOST!
can anyone be there when i ever need??
its UNFAIR!!!!
even msn has sharing folder which both recipients can add their files into it...
but y cant i deserve tat???
SHUT UR MOUTH UP IF U DUN UNDERSTAND ME!
dun pretend as u understand my situation!
bcoz u wont know!wtf

*no more nonsense reasons!they didnt work on me AT ALL!!!AT ALL wtf!KEEP IT INTO UR ASS
*no more pretending!!!GET LOST OF MY WAY LIAR!its so disgusting when i see u pretending in front of me!STOP BRAGGING ABOUT WAT U HV DONE!!! tat's not even 1 sen in my eyes wth
*no more making use of me!eh i hv feelings too ok..i keep my feelings inside doesnt mean i dont have OK!IM NOT STUPID wtf

#i really need some air..OMG
#who should i approach and where shoud i head to when i need help??who should i trust?
#STOP SAYING WE R BEST FRIEND!do u really give out ur hand to help me???when im in depression???
#i want to vent i want to vent!!!!!! LET ME VENT!!!!!!!!!!!! so FRUSTRATED!!!
*i wanted to tell closest A, she's hving her own prob n how would i want to add on troubles to her!it's great enough she listened part of it already...thnx for supporting me... TAT'S WAT FRIENDS MEANT TO BE!
*i wanted to tell closest B, oh gosh he's the same as A!it's oso great enough u listened part of it though i know they didnt get into ur head..thnx anyway..
*i wanted to tell closest C, but r u the one?will u ever want to share my problems with me?i really want to know the truth..i get hurt SO easily like i said before..now u r getting back to her without knowing my feelings huh...am i spare tyre?those u think of when there's no body else u can look for?dun say im the only one left u hv right nw! IT SOUNDS SWEET BEFORE i realized the TRUTH!!! BT ITS FREAKING FAKE! IM EXTREMELY HURT AND DISAPPOINTED wtf

#i hv so many closest ALPHABET....but who's the real one?who who who?no one's there..its so empty!wtf !will A always be there?will the others be there???????????????????
#eventually i told the latest prob to someone who i never think i would tell.....u appeared like an angel...at least, one little piece of my mind is more relaxing now...THNX SC!!!!!!!!!

IM SO LACK OF SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED ALCOHOL TO MAKE ME SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS THERE ANY ANGEL???????????????HELP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????????????

p/s** i know things hv been staying in my heart for a very long long time...they are piling up days by days,months by months and here come the years by years........m i able to continue it?speechless.....IM USELESS ARHHH WTF!!!!!!!!!! >___<>

感动得海豚

2009-01-27T05:55:00.001+08:00

海豚音
你听过吗？
我亲耳听过
亲爱的
也许你不认同
可是那一刻
我好想哭
真的
好感动好感动
也许很笨但就是很感动
触动了我的冰心
虽然没什么好感动
可是就是很感人
谢谢你
芊，以后还可以唱给我听吗？

**对不起，一个凌晨里upload了3个post...>__<

语无伦次的你不懂

2009-01-27T05:16:00.004+08:00

我的文言
越来越实在
没有了梦幻没有了想象
呵
偶尔写些让人看懂的画面
也是我的兴趣

敞阔的天台
一张木藤椅
来一口啤酒
仰望着星空

还是

宁静的道路
并不会宁静
车辆不停的
放慢了脚步
嘴角扬起了
仰望着星空

此刻心里没想起任何人
曾经·我问一位女孩·很有爱情道义的女孩
看到星星你看到什么？
她说：“我会想起他我会想起家··”
是否和她说的一样，我们同时拥有同一片天空
一样的时空一样的世界
会回想在另一个角落的你
我的爱没那么强烈
是孤僻作祟还是孤立作祟
好像都一样？哈哈
顿然·我真的好想好想放慢脚步
多望望你们
漫步回家
忘了社会的危险忘了匪徒的来袭
什么都不在乎了
只想停下来好好的看
真的好漂亮
心里叹息着
虽然你们漂亮
你们也许有你们的烦恼
心情的平静
多希望你们也一样
是平静的

像枫叶划过水面
像鱼儿离开水面
为何平静？
经过挣扎，他们会平静的离开

呵呵。。结果这些的含义
你都看懂了吗？
它似简单但并不简单
慢慢思考吧

Little STARS

2009-01-27T05:03:00.004+08:00

今晚的星空真的好美丽

wonder why..
when there is quiet and a feeling of peace
i look up..
high above the sky
shining beautifully smiling at me
smile placidly at me my grandma did once upon a time
just like the STARS

am i alone?
they seem to be lonely
seems so near yet so far

sry...hee...XP emo is fine but keep it into heart
i have seen this
i think it is right
keeping the truth makes life pretty
the feeling is so wrong
it's getting complicated
grhhhh.......

It's SPRING

2009-01-26T20:16:00.003+08:00

Is it the time when the leaves fall?

Here comes the winter...

......................
........
...

I LOVE SPRING

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

好凉

2009-01-17T01:58:00.002+08:00

原来。。
让冷风吹吹
从指尖流过
心
原来可以
那么的舒服
那么的舒畅
只在那霎那

Day trip to MV

2009-01-13T00:57:00.007+08:00

Okey~hmm..let's see how should i start my post..hahahaha..
i think i'd proudly tell u guys tat..JUNO's NICE!for me n joo..it's a great movie..but for the rest,it's jz like a 'BED TIME STORY'..hahaha..there is a hidden story behind..it's lame so i dowana wasting space n ur precious time of reading it..ignore2~XD

so..I went out to MV[Mid Valley] with sum of the fanshus n CP today.Apparently,it's for our dear EDWIN lar..tomolo he's going back to sarawak..oops..it's later..haha.. The gathering was great i would say except everyone were late except joshua..muahahaha..kesian u la josh~sry n we luv u! XP let's continue..

we started our journey at MCDONALD [ppl!dun eat lar.."SO UNHEALHTY" (Joo 09)]..huhu..

n then went to NIKE to buy her lovely daddy's birthday present-A very young look sport shoes!im sure her daddy will luv it..^^

here comes 12pm.movie started!haha..met edwin n went in the so 'HILARIOUS' cinema.u cant imagine how 'HOT' it was inside..hahahahaha..till chuan shinn went out for couple times huh!although all of us almost became ice we still managed to stay till the last minute of the show.bt we were so desperate for the heat n guess where did we go..CAR PARK!haha..=.=

after warming ourselves went to GARDENS for TOILET with joo..another =.=lll the rest went to MV punya..somehow, it was my first experience n the very first visit to GARDENS' TOILET!it's much cleaner of coz!im definitely sure i dunno hw to use the pump if joo wasnt there..kesian i~T_T

the next was going to those technology based punya shops like nokia,sony centre and "mac" centre..muahaha..sounds familiar?so coincident rite!?XP joo's looking for lappie n the rest of us enjoying looking at the nice nice pretty pretty new new fons.wah~im in love with the sony T series camera!it's so COOL! the other attracted me was NOKIA-N85!omg..u shud look at its design!simple n cool..haha..okok back to the track..after several times of comparing lappie from mac n sony..thanks god tat little joo decided to buy sony...AT THE MOMENT...haha...AT THE MOMENT only ya~she might change her mind soon..

we then went to the food street [one level above underground=ground lor..XP] to eat lunch+dinner?or teatime?i dunno..josh said he felt like JJ when he's eating you2 tiao2+soya since JJ has a song named 豆浆油条..we laughed crazily especially me..XP

then we went for photoshooting n walk walk..hving fun except kena terperanjat by edw..grhh~u wait n see!haha..i'll fly to sarawak to frighten u in the MID NITE! hahaha..finally we all separated around 4pm n went home after that..

phew~a long "BED TIME STORY" huh..dunno y i feel like blogging abt the whole complete story..dedicated to our vonne~haha..kesian her ada snakes on her skin nw..they r hibernating so nt easy to get rid of them..XD be patient vonne..here comes the pic!hooray!!this would be my first post with so much pics..ENJOY!**better say yes..hiak hiak..

Group of MY LOVED ONE!
I wanted to tk a pic without her-stranger inside..somehow, she has made the pic meaningful..all the best to u~^^

yeah~me with the pretty scenery..ahaha..HAPPY CNY!MOO YEAR~~together!MOO~~

edw's going to eat them!hahahaha

Nice tanglung...catch my eyes on it!

I definitely love this!a beautiful coincidence..i mean the colours...XP

Not forget to snap one when joo n ys went to collect the angpao..haha..TQ chih peng..

This is the MV decoration...not bad oso geh~

this is the evidence where the incident happened-kena shocked by edw..Joo said i screamed so loud...sobs**

Impossible O photo when edw's there..

wat's so happy my dear?hahaha..chilling around..

Dun laugh bt this it my 4th visiting gardens..T__T

This is the tree im crazily in love as well!It's so BEAUTIFUL!n this is oso y i kena laughed by Joo coz of my very tiny miny small mistake..=.=lll

I LOVE THIS TREE SO BAD!!!!

Yeah right..GARDENS's decoration much more attractive and outstanding..

Prepare ur camera to snap the ceiling..this is wat he told me n i decided to catch this scene rather than the ceiling..hahaha..

walao...she rides from penang till gardens neh..

here's the camwhore kaki..hahaha

this is where i fall in love with T series sony camera!!

My house's garden..wat is this?no idea~XD

It's damn HOT here...summer time..

another random pic i snapped..

I HEART THE EARTH!pls dun LITTERING!

Lovely DOLLY came to welcome me!muacks!

p/s** look at her right eye..love u my dear~dont give up!XOXO

Random feelings Random tears

2009-01-08T11:49:00.005+08:00

Friendship

i might no longer understand.....perhaps im confused?

if love makes u tired, then don't love
if hatred makes u happy, then please hate me

i would hate u to think i didn't care u

if u wish to see my fake smile, i can absolutely do that
no more cares no more hard feelings
no more tears for me too

hv u ever being ignored by ur loved one?
it's not easy at all u noe...
it's hurt and sad!
when someone u love so much takes of everyone's pictures excluding u..haha...
close ur eyes, imagine and feel that!
and wat if u still have to pretend u don't care at all and smile^^ after all?

if i dun care u as my buddy why would i care wat u have done
i can take that easily if i don't appreciate u

u can be a good friend, good listener
u have a very kind and sweet heart
u always be there when ur friends need u
but u don't look on ppl's view
maybe u have tried ur best to think for ppl, but that's not enough....

if u are my friend, u'd know FRIEND is a BIG WORD for me in my life...
i can't bear to lose any of my loved one..unless u abandon me at first....
u can say or blog whatever u want......
as long as it eases u....go ahead.......
i prefer being scolded than being ignored..
maybe blogging is not a good option for me to confront u.
I might lose u or i might not after this.
But i don't have other choices and i still have to risk it..

lastly, I HEART U...
it's ur decision...im ur friend or not...

In the moment,
i hope my mind can be like
the placid waters of the lake
peacefully...

Malacca preview

2009-01-03T03:24:00.003+08:00

This is a very random post...
but i need to post it on no matter how..hahaha
IM extremely PROUD of myself!!!XD

Let's show u the pic i hv edited..^^
Well..im proud to say that im the photographer and 'editor' as well....hiak hiak..

Model-PRINCESS(real name:OCS)

I got a scene flashed in my mind when she was standing in front of me..and so i asked her to turn back her head and stay..That's the prettiest capture i have ever taken!!!!DAMN BEAUTIFUL!!!!OMGOMGOMG..muahahaa...SORRY ya..im OVER EXCITED whenever i found pretty things..haha..BEH JIAP SIEW...Don't u think she looks so GORGEOUS and CHARMING in this pic??totally can cover over her "chu lu"-NESS..huhu...(she's gonna kill me..T__T)However,the most important to get a nice picture u'll need a pretty model..abo how to get this catch?rite rite???Im SUPER GAMDONG i tel u...T__T

This is the FELLOWS!!!muacks.....

Muahaha..yea.i shud continue posting up the rest of the pictures taken and edited onto facebook very SOON~hahaha..It's still in COMING SOON-mode..

Wait for it

Think before u move ur body

2009-01-02T12:15:00.003+08:00

i know it's only a TV...ok a TV....
but this TV is really different to me..i used to watch it with my grandma everyday..it reminds me of my grandma...the memory is still fresh in my mind...im really sorry popo......

im so sorry.....i do not have the ability to protect this house...even a TV.....only a TV!

the TV lost its body..but the chips and the screen are still there...do u noe where did they locate the TV?............in the big longkang beside my house!WAT THE HECK!!
since the body is made of wood,the wood is just too fragile when the rains come.Its screen is scratched and i guess the chips are useless now..

She's regret now...wat can i do?im pissed and sad...it's very confusing..i cant scold her too...maybe it's too stupid u might think that im sad for a TV..but it's just the same..can u send ur parents away when they are old and sick??u can't and u won't rite?perhaps im too sentimental....i cant bear of losing something important in my life..especially those meaningful and memorable...family,friends and even an object...i wont let them go easily!

but dun worry..i'll throw old things which shud be thrown because i wont keep everything...however,this is too much!the reason she gave is the repairman can't save the TV anymore..so??who knows there'll be a genius in the coming 5 years?10years?she never thinks far and now she's sad for the TV...can u regret after u kill somebody?of course u do~but there's always a scar in the victim's family and friends...

i'll forgive her definitely....physically at least...abo she'll think much much...sigh~im training and practising myself to be a good actor....watever...

so people,THINK BEFORE U MOVE UR BODY!towards ur friends,family,colleagues and even ur love...if u always make mistake in the office,do u think the company still want to keep u?especially the economy is down currently?

alrite..im so =.=lll right now..u might think it's ridiculous because u cant see the connection?
this is actually how thing connects with another matter.....we learn from everything around us...i get a lesson from this...think before i do...i told her the same.hope she gets it this time!see lar...even i repeat the same thing for 100 times hor..she'll never learn it!sien~this is not the first time already....ish.....anyway...i need to shower now.....buai~

hope u learn something too~!think wat u have done everyday before u go to bed..it's helpful!

I HATE U

2009-01-01T19:07:00.009+08:00

I HATE YOU!
i have no idea AT ALL!!!
y things always happen after i leave the house....even only 3 days????

U are seriously a damn big trouble to me!
wat the heck is in ur mind??wat's tat??
can u show me????

do u know it's so irritating?
how could u do tat to popo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can u at least call me so we can discuss about it??!?!
tat's one of the things that popo left for us!!!it's even older than me!!!!how can u do tat to me??!?!?
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

WHO DO NOT APPRECIATE HERE!!!!!!
U R THE ONE NOT ME!!!!
LOOK WAT HAS HAPPENED!!!!!
LOOK AT URSELF!!!
BESIDE of REASONS!!wat can u do????
wat did u do??????
dont even know u HAVE DONE a BIG MISTAKE????????????????????

can u think before u decide something???wat's in ur brain?!??!
BULL SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I SHOULD NEVER COMPLIMENT U INFRONT OF MY FRIENDS!!!

IT'S SO DISAPPOINTING!!!!

STUPID!!!!!!!!EVERYTHING'S BULL SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
very tiring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no!
im EXHAUSTED!
STOP GIVING ME TROUBLES!!!STOP IT!!!!
the moment i came back the moment i stepped into my house!!!
i saw trouble i saw it n I DEFINITELY HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT PEACEFUL HOME
I WANT HOME SWEET HOME
I DOWANA ARGUE WITH U!!!
U DUN EVEN KNOW HOW TO THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOT THOUGHTFUL AT ALL!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FEEL SORRY FOR WAT U DID!!

there's always another way
u can keep it till i come back...
then we'll discuss what r v gonna do with it..
can??
please la.....
i dun like this hard feelings...i hate to cry becoz of it....
it's new year...beginning of 2009..
can i hv a happy day?i deserve it.....

What to do!PRAY FOR HER!

2008-12-30T03:27:00.004+08:00

what should i do what should i do

is she going to be blind???
the moment when i saw her looking at the wrong direction
wtheck
it's heart breaking
she couldn't recognize the door
where is the door...
she was facing the wall not the door...

she lost one of her eyes..didn't she?
it is gray it is no longer the beautiful black i used to love anymore

m i going to lose her one day??
NO!!!!!!!!!!I DONT WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE.......
please keep her another eye safe with her
please keep her safe with me
PLEASE....

Dare not to take her away from ME!

can u please pray for her too?please.....
i'd say a thousand of thank you!

男生想要女生第一次的心理

2008-12-29T17:25:00.001+08:00

男生想要女生第一次的心理

把第一次留给和你领结婚证的那个男人！

　　首先，女朋友没有满足男朋友性欲望的义务！！不要以为他天天叫你老婆，你就真的当自己是他的妻子了。当你的男友向你提出那方面的要求时，如果你不是很乐意，就要用委婉的语言，坚定的心态来拒绝，不要被他的诸如：反正我们会结婚的，什么时候不都一样吗；如果你不和我做，就是不爱我（这是激将法）；或为他可怜的样子和苦苦的哀求而心软，（虽然这一点很难做到，毕竟你真的爱他，但是记得周蕙唱的那首歌吗：有时候心软是一种悲惨，推自己跌入深渊！难受确实会有一些，但不象他们表现的那么夸张，而且那完全是能够控制的，他会看你的态度而定了，你稍表现出一些心软来，他就会变本加利的。而且会更频繁的向你提要求。你就更难拒绝了。"我甚至听说，竟有男生骗女生说，如果不和自己做，那么勃起的下身就会一直挺着，而有些女生竟然相信了，真可怜"）。如果他真的爱你，他会为你的矜持和有主见而更加的爱你，珍惜你，因为你在他的心目中会更加的神圣，高洁变的更有魅力和吸引力；如果做了，他会暂时表示一下感激，对你出奇的好，但是请不要高兴的太早，如果有一天你再拒绝了他，他的脸往往会让你感到心寒的！而且，做了之后，自己就陷入了被动！！谁不想珍惜自己的第一次啊，为他付出的越多，就对他的期望值越高，就越害怕失去他，就会越迁就他，这在很多男生眼里就是失去了性格，就会觉得乏味，他就会越让你失望。当你们再次出现矛盾的时候，他就不会在像以前那样早早的来给你道歉了，因为，最放不开的还是你啊！就算是你们将来结婚了，养成这这样的习惯也不好啊。如果他为此离开了你，那么恭喜你，你离开了一个并不爱你的人，甚至说是一个另有他图的骗子（尽管这样的人往往很有魅力）。我有100％的把握，保证你会找到一个真正爱你，要比他好的人！没有谁离开了谁就没法活了的，忍过那最初的半年，从和他的生活中走出来清醒之后，你会发现事实并不象你原来想的那样。

　　其次，如果你不是处女了，分手后你又遇到了你也爱他，他也真的很爱你的人，你向他坦白，他还会接受你，因为他知道，你没有错，甚至会认为你是无辜的，是受害者。如果他也不是处男了还好一些，如果他还是，我敢十分肯定的说，他一定会很难受的，是非常的难受，当他晚上闭上眼睛的时候，就会浮现出一副，你和别的男生亲热的画面来，那会让他难受的几乎要离开你的冲动，他越是爱你，越是感到你很纯洁，越会感到难受。甚至会有一种被别人侮辱和嘲笑的感觉。他宁愿朝自己的脑袋上打一大棒，忘记这一切。你可以站在他的位置上想一想是不是这样。这绝对是一个阴影，或许会好，但是却需要付出相当大的努力，如果他爱你，为了你的名誉他不会对任何人讲这件事，一切的苦都要自己来背，在你的面前也可能表现的很坚强。但这一切的感受他多少都会经历的。而你的内心必定十分的内疚，或许会有悔恨，而你更需要做的还是来安慰他。好女孩还会觉得很对不起他，要一辈子补偿他，而他也会认为，你是因为欠他才这样做的。而他对你的好，对你感情的投入会大打折扣，虽然，他还会珍惜你，但是也不像以前那样如此的珍惜你了。你忍心你爱的人受这样的折磨吗？

　　再次，每一个女孩子都很珍惜自己的第一次的。但是一个因为你不和他做爱就要离开你的人比起要和你共渡一生，要照顾你一辈子的人，要给你一个家的人，一个你生病了，只有他会带你去医院里看病，并心疼的照看你的人，一个不管你犯了什么样的错误，或受了什么样的委屈都能理解你，安慰你，哄你开心的人相比，你不想把你的最珍贵的礼物奉献给后者吗？

　　最后，大学阶段，仍然还是不稳定的阶段，未来会怎么样，还是不能预料，毕业时，虽然相爱但却不能在一起的多的是，爱情固然能激发起人的巨大潜能，但也不是包打天下的，随着年龄的增长，都会越来越现实的。希望对爱情有浪漫幻想的女孩能够认识到。海誓山盟时，我也相信那是真心话，但是现实的残酷，也是相当的残忍的！

　　最后希望大家能接受一个观点：洁身自好是美德不等于封建落后！（相信最后受益的是女孩子自己）

　　那些说不在意女朋友是不是处女的多半都是占过了便宜还想占的，请女孩子们不要上当！！！真的他遇到了自己动情的女孩子，知道她不是处女了，他也迷糊！！

(http://jia-xian-guan.blogspot.com/2008/07/blog-post_4653.html?showComment=1230542640000#c5876272385275135295)

对不起，瑄

2008-12-17T17:01:00.003+08:00

如果心中有根刺没有拔掉
那朵玫瑰花
不管它有多美多华里多芬芳
它毕竟会无意间刺痛大家
知道你这几天的心情都在暴风雨里
我这朵小草
无论遇见再大的狂风大雨
我都愿意坚持
因为我想陪伴一个对我很重要的朋友
我想了好久好久
如果我做错什么
我在全世界的面前向你道歉
对不起原谅我可以吗？
大家番薯一条心
不要因为任何原因而失去珍贵的友谊

要加油
号码不代表一切
有智慧有思考才是最聪明最富有的

重要的是学习的过程

就像我们学习互相包容互相体谅
学习如何放开学习快乐
其实真的很不简单
只要愿意只要努力
终究会成功的
我相信你可以做到！！！
不一定是这一年不一定是下一年
有恒心你每一秒都成功
不是因为成绩的成功
而是你的心态的成功
人生有低潮那才会有高潮
不需要太难过
这几天我也在学习放下学习不转牛角尖
事情就是那么的简单而开心
一起加油吧好朋友

一些名言

2008-12-17T02:43:00.001+08:00

有些事，我们明知道是错的，也要去坚持，因为不甘心；有些人，我们明知道是爱的，也要去放弃，因为没结局；有时候，我们明知道没路了，却还在前行，因为习惯了。：

以为蒙上了眼睛，就可以看不见这个世界；以为捂住了耳朵，就可以听不到所有的烦恼；以为脚步停了下来，心就可以不再远行；以为我需要的爱情，只是一个拥抱。：

那些已经犯过的错误，有一些是因为来不及，有一些是因为刻意躲避，更多的时候是茫然地站到了一边。我们就这样错了一次又一次，却从不晓得从中汲取教训，做一些反省。：

你不知道我在想你，是因为你不爱我，我明明知道你不想我，却还爱你，是因为我太傻。也许有时候，逃避不是因为害怕去面对什么，而是在等待什么。：

天空没有翅膀的痕迹，但鸟儿已经飞过；心里没有被刀子割过，但疼痛却那么清晰。这些胸口里最柔软的地方，被爱人伤害过的伤口，远比那些肢体所受的伤害来得犀利，而且只有时间，才能够治愈。：

很多人，因为寂寞而错爱了一人，但更多的人，因为错爱一人，而寂寞一生。我们可以彼此相爱，却注定了无法相守。不是我不够爱你，只是我不敢肯定，这爱，是不是最正确的。

(http://www.wjsq.com/index.php/24823/viewspace-85843.html 2008)

Forget or Remember

2008-12-15T20:03:00.004+08:00

People are contradicting all the time dun u agree?
Some things i suppose to forget is too hard to let go somehow

Time proves the truth

It can be a miracle medicine that cures you
It can be a harmful drug that kills you
Some moments i seem to be forgetful or i am actually forgetting it intentionally
Some moments i seem to have good memory or i am actually memorizing it hardly

Here comes the contradiction
U rather to keep it as memory or u forget it
It might chill u up or hurt u deeply when u flash back
I am afraid with the options i have
Either one u have to choose

It leaves wounds anyway

Dedicated to GENTLEMEN

2008-12-03T17:34:00.005+08:00

tO gentlemen!
哈哈。。祝你一路顺风
谢谢你对我的坦白对我的好
可是我真的不能接受你的好意
对不起
人是犯贱的wth
大好机会摆在眼前我却不会珍惜
蠢ho？
说我残忍也好无情也罢
对我而言
我不能被条件打败
可能我还年轻该追求什么我也不知道
样子？不错又有身材
体贴？超级体贴加照顾
关心？非常关心加支持
脾气？他好像没对过我发脾气
我真的觉得自己好讨人厌
无端端的伤害一个人
伤害一个会觉得我美丽的人
伤害一个随时随地陪伴我的人
伤害一个让寂寞远离我的人
伤害一个像电影里的superman保护我的人
我是怪兽 ho？
听说我在男生面前的名声是臭的了是吗？
一个会是好情人的人我可以得到的
这种人在世界里快绝种了
我真的希望你可以继续当个endangered species。。。好吗？
你一定会遇到一个珍惜你的人
这不是什么场面话
真得出自于我的真心我不是假惺惺的人（at least 在这方面ok..wth)
我承认我很绝情
我只是不知道该怎么面对你
我不希望会有什么让你觉得误会的情形
在这个时候
你还不忘记关心我鼓励我
这样只有加深我对你的内疚
grhhh。。。
我并不是有心要伤害你请你相信我好吗？
真的真的很对不起你 wth
希望你未来可以当个出色的兽医
以后可以替我的狗狗看病ok?呵呵
你为我做的我不知要怎么还
我能做的也只有这一点点的心意
要加油！我们还是朋友的对吗？^^

L@Dy